Countdowns of Excitement

My Twin comes home in two days. Two years nearly conquered with the exception of two days. I am SO EXCITED!!! He'll be in the states on the 24th, and fly into Utah the evening of Sunday the 11th.  I want to laugh and cry and jump and dance and tell all the world- My Twin is coming home!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Yep. That guy. :)

Also, for anyone wondering, since it's so close to the actual day, there are ten months and three days til Keys gets home.

That guy. Of whom Twin is also in the picture with. ;)

Also, five months and three days until Christmas,
One month and five days until school starts again, :-/
Four days until the combined Single's Stake Swim Party at the Scera where I will party with these guys:

Cupcake and I at the Mt. Timpanogos Temple

Group date- Messy Twister in the Park!

Me and Brave

Superhero Presidency!!!

...and more. Excited some? Yes I am.

Oh! Ps. Dad taught me how to drive a motorcycle when we were recently in Idaho.  I like it.

Not in motion...but then the camera wouldn't have been able to focus. ;)

See you soon....

Love, Me.

Our great ideas to do...

These all must be accomplished.

-Go on a walk
-Longboarding
-Rollarblading
-Swimming (tanning)
-Bikes
-Write stores (tag team)
-Do cute songs
-Go to the park
-Night games!
-Swim *by river (*I mean in)
-Hide-And-Seek in park
-Secret Service...talk to Jenna
-Lap tag (Cupcake's Idea)
-Ice cream (make ice cream)
-Cookies (make/deliver)
-Movie
-Dance competition
-Cops and Robbers
-Fun stuff at the lake!!!
-Prank calling
-Exercise more
-Stake service project
-Jam session (is this with fruit or guitars?)
-Park
-Dumbster diving (exclusively with Blink)  (Ps. I didn't do the spelling on that one)
-Nerf gun war!
-Country Dancing
-Swings in the park
-Late nights in the park
-Frisbee in the park (I think I just want to go to the park)
-Stargazing
-Sleepover on the trampoline
-Get tan
-Be fit
-Rock climbing with D-Bike
-Finger paint/chalk masterpieces
-Puppet shows
-Fun group dates
-Food fight/water fight
-Teach Cupcake to dive
-Learn how to drive motorcycles
-Delicious creations...some from Pintrest
-Cute dress up/fashion shows
-IHOP at 3am
-Awesome pool parties


...More ideas to come, and more to be accomplished!! :)

Love, Me.

Truths of Life #1

One of the greatest joys in life has got to be a cool glass of juice after a long, hot day.

And if it's guava, mmmm....... :)

Love, Me.

Summer is here!

In the midst of this craziness I call life, I have to stop and tell someone a bit about it.  I feel like this is a monthly "catch up" on what's happening, where I rush in, type something up and then rush out.  Whether or not that's what really happens, (mostly I'll just not be in the blogging mood), I'm here again, checking in on a rare night that I'm home.

But first, a view from this past week...

I had my routine cardiology visit last Friday, where mom and I drove up and did some shopping in Draper, got lost, and were almost on time by 7 minutes to my appointment at the Riverton Primary Children's Outpatient clinic.  I checked in, filled out an information sheet, and promptly changed into the fantastic hospital gown so the nurse could give me an EKG.  15 sticky electrodes and a blood pressure check later, I'm sitting in my dark room watching the middle of Tangled as I wait for the next technician to come in for my Echocardiogram...but we folk usually shorten it to Echo.  An EKG tracks the electric systems in my body, or something like that, it's kind of hard for me to explain, and an Echo is an ultrasound of my heart.

My Echo tech comes in and says the room across the hall has a better monitor, so we transfer all my stuff (and Tangled) over and we have our 40 minute test.  This may sound weird, but I actually like Echo's.  It's pretty relaxing, I get to watch a movie, and the amazing techs even let me watch their computer screens and show me the stuff they're looking at in my heart.  Sometimes, technology is so cool!!

After the Echo, I take my stuff to my third room where my mom meets me from shopping, and my fabulous cardiologist of nearly 6 years comes in.  We chat a bit, she listens to my heart, and other than discussing the treadmill exercise test I took last Wednesday (another crazy day) and answering any questions my mom or I have, we say good-bye for another year.  By now it's almost 3, and we've (well, I) been at the clinic for two hours now.  My nurse comes in again with a 24-hour holter monitor, but this one's new! Only four electrodes (thankfully latex free) instead of seven, and this fancy thing shows my heartbeat!! I was so fascinated!! We finally walked out of the clinic at 3:30, and were on our way back to Draper for some final shopping, then home in the insane traffic, and on our way to drop me off at the Summerfest with Cupcake, since she lives nearby.  She and I walked around for a bit, then I went home...but I feel like I went somewhere else, too.  Hmm.

Heart Monitor

Oh.  If you're wondering why I had that cardiology visit, I'll tell you. Seven years ago this September I had cardiac arrest and was diagnosed with Myocarditis.  A virus settled in my heart causing it to become inflamed, I got really sick...and long story short I'm practically normal today, with the exception of an occasional extra heartbeat, extremely cold hands and feet from poor circulation, and my hair has thinned out and is now half as thick as it used to be.  I blogged about it two years back, if you want to read more details click here.

Watching the parade- so cold!

Anyway, that was part of last week.  Saturday was super busy with Summerfest stuff, which was fun but also a lot.  We watched the fireworks from Cupcake's house, then I went home "early" (like 11pm) because I knew I had to be up early for a 7:00am meeting.  Why such a meeting at such a time?

Because I am the newly called Relief Society President in my single's ward.

Say what!?

Yep.  I also haven't been released from anything else, so I'm currently also an organist and FHE Co-chair (Well, chair since Co-chair is away being an EFY counselor for the next month).  Needless to say, I've felt a bit overwhelmed a few times in the past few weeks.  Planning Monday's FHE was so fun though, because Cupcake and I combined our wards, so that was nice to have their help.  We did had a lesson on Samuel the Lamanite (and I had a blonde moment/Elder Calhoun experience where I said I knew Samuel was a Lamanite instead of a prophet) ;) life-size Mormon Mario Kart (with cardboard boxes and a "Rainbow Road" chalk course), and an indoor "drive-in" movie where we watched Cars.  I would love to do Monday over and over again, it was a lot of fun. :) Thanks for everyone that could be there, it really means a lot.

The general idea of the racetrack...

Racing

Oh yeah. This is from our FHE mustache party a few weeks ago. I liked the glasses. ;)

I took my final exam for Critical Inquiry and Research Methods yesterday.  It was a fun class, but I am SO looking forward to summer break!! :) No homework, no class.......just me, summer lessons, a great bucket list, and the sun.  (And sunscreen, whenever mom can get me to wear it).  This is really the only part of the post that has to do with my title.

11:11.

So yeah.  Life has been full lately-- of meetings, life, errands, school, church, friends, stress, ups, downs, and somewhere-in-the-middles.  Thank you to everyone who helps make my day a little better whenever they can, it really makes a difference.  :)

So, as Truman says, "Good morning, and in case I don't see ya: good afternoon, good evening, and good night!"

Love you all, praying for you, and wishing for the best- keep your chin up, and come home safe.

Love, Me.

Things I've Gained From the Things I've Missed

Have you ever had a toothbrush epiphany moment?  One of those times where you're standing there brushing your teeth and look at yourself and suddenly you have a flash of understanding about something?  Or my D&C teacher this past semester even talked about sometimes looking at yourself and just feeling like you don't quite measure up, and you think, "Man, I am just worthless".  Sometimes situations in life can make you feel that way, and it stinks.

I have had both of those kinds of moments.  But right now I want to talk about the epiphany I had about things I've gained from things I've missed.

To start off with, the one most recent.  I was thinking about school and Spring Term, which is a lot of what I think about lately.  I was thinking about how I didn't get a scholarship for Spring, and how at the time it seemed like a trial and not a blessing.  It meant $1,140 for tuition and another couple hundred for books paid from my own pocket, plus saving for Fall and Winter tuition/books.  Also, it meant not moving out this summer, as well as postponing the DC/NYC trip.  Anyway.  It was kind of sad for me.  But, I realized that with a scholarship, I'd have to take that other class I'd dropped because it didn't feel right and too much.  Because I didn't get a scholarship, I was able to make my schedule more manageable, get a partial refund, and pay only half of what I'd expected.  Surprise blessing.

That character changing, somewhat heartbreaking experience a few months ago?  I know a bit more of what I want, what I can do, and how to do it.  Though it hasn't exactly been smooth sailing, I have traveled, and I believe others have too.  The timing has also been impeccable.  I just. Yeah. Wow.  Blessing.

Not making it into the music program at BYU.  At first one may seem to question the blessing here.  This is what I wanted to do for years, and I'm pretty good at it, too (I'd like to think so).  But- didn't make it.  Because I didn't make it, I've been able to do this amazing School of Family Life program that I am completely in love and comfortable with, it's shorter than the 4-5 years I'd spend in the music program, I feel like I can use this to fit my tastes and lifestyle better, instead of forming myself to fit them- no offense, music teachers.  But I've been able to see that what you wanted me to be and do is not what I am meant to.  For others, yes, your program works.  But for me, it won't be happening.  Plus, I've had other job offers without completing your degree, and I have my own private teaching studio.  Blessing?  Yes.

Staying up late tonight to write this while waiting for my sister to come home, then being there to open the door because it's locked and she doesn't have a key.  Though tired, something keeps me awake and up here.  Blessing?  Most definitely.

I'm still working on being grateful for being lonely, on having homework and school and for my arms hurting.  I know that compared to the trials of those I know and love, these things are really trivial.  But they do pertain to me, and thus are important to me.  I can appreciate them and the reasons I can see- to a degree, but I still push those off to the side sometimes because I don't really appreciate having them.  I'm working on it, but I think it's going to take a little more time for me to fully face these experiences as blessings. 

So I guess the next time you're standing there brushing your teeth, take a moment to reflect and find blessings from your trials.  As Cupcake and I have discovered, though it is often easier to wallow in self-pity, it is always better to count our blessings, such as spiritual, physical, emotional and any other growth that has occurred.  These things are for our experience and good, right?  I can't remember the reference on that one, but I know it's in the scriptures.  Understanding and empathy for others.  Appreciation for the things we have.  Friends.  Music.  Laughter.  Love.  The Gospel. :)  Mirrors, thoughts and toothbrushes to have these moments.  So much to grow from and be grateful for.  So much.

By the way, Happy Mother's Day.  Love you, mom. :)

Love, Me.

An Update...on a Snowless Winter

Life's been full lately.  Interesting, good, happy, sad, busy...you name it, it's probably happened or happening.  I finished Winter Semester, and am in the middle of my second week of Spring Term.  I made the wonderful decision to take SFL 290- Critical Inquiry and Research Methods so I can take all of my other classes in the fall.  I'm taking a break from studying for our first unit exam tomorrow, and getting ready for the next one that starts Friday.  This class is intense.  Fun, but intense.

Anyhow.  A little while back my good friend Kayla and I (I haven't come up with an alias for her yet) did a photo-shoot.  So. Much. Fun!!! I loved it.  Here's some of the pics......I love them all. :)

Thanks Kayla. You're the best. :)


Also, I think I have failed to introduce you to my best friend, Cupcake. (Aka...Becca.)  We do pretty much everything together- talk, eat, play, study, talk, adventure, console, congratulate, talk, play...you name it.  Here's us after a much needed temple visit before Finals:

This is pretty much us. :)

Through the good times and the bad, we have each other.  We even match outfits and hairdo's without planning! People say they think we could even look related.  Funny thing is...we're so different, but so much the same, too.  Like that song on Tarzan (You'll be in My Heart)..."we're not that different at all".  I love my best friend Becca, she's helped me through SO MUCH this past semester. :)

Way back in January after FHE one night a group of us went and lit lanterns for the Chinese New Year.  Oh. My. Wow. Loved it.  I absolutely love Tangled, and this was amazing.  And the company was fantastic, too. :)

"The Wardies"...thanks guys. :) And my lantern. Sigh.
The Lanterns marked the beginning of a remarkably wonderful and tough time.  I suppose they are a representation of letting a part of me grow (and go), and making room for the next stage of learning and growing to come in.  Interesting when you get what you wish for.  This was at the beginning of the semester, and also the catalyst for Becca and I meeting.  I'm kind of going out of order here, and skipping quite a bit, but...all you need to know is that Orem 8th Ward is the coolest Single's Ward you'll ever come across.  Commander, Cupcake, "Blink", Co-chair, Zion Sis, Organ Buddy, and everyone else....thank you for the experiences we've shared.  You are really the best. :)

One last thing. 

For FHE (Ps. I'm a Co-Chair FHE leader. In case you didn't know.) last week we made 1,000 paper cranes. 

Yes, 1,000.

That's a lot of paper cranes.  That's a lot of folding, hours, and care.  We started a couple weeks in advance and had 500 before that night, but still.  500 is a lot!  We did it for a friend in our ward that's been very sick.  We believe in the Atonement with everything we have, but it was also fun to create a "good luck wish/charm" for him to show how much we care. 

The group you see are the faithful that stayed til 10:30 folding. We actually by happy chance ended up with 1,022 paper cranes, and after the efforts of some 40 people, we had this.....

Love it.

Yep.  I can hardly believe how fast time is flying, and it is really flying.  This has been a brief overview of some of my favorite highlights.  I've started a more in-depth post probably 5 times, but I doubt those will ever surface.  For now, things are going amiably.  I still get lonely at times, still sometimes get frustrated, but those are being outweighed by the times of peace and joy.  Also, prayers have been answered. 

That's all I can say. 

Love you all, I wish you the best whoever and where ever you may be.  Truly.  A phrase that is shared whenever we feel low (please apply to yourself):

"Chin up, princess (prince). Things'll work out.  You need to have your eyes up to see what God wants you to see."

I Seek The Kingdom.

Love, Me.

Waves

Empty.

Emptiness inside.

Hollow, like an empty jug.

Indifference, little care for much of anything.

Tension. Rising frustration, anxious. Questioning, Hoping, Probing, Wondering-

Back.

Back to reality with a snap.

Realizing my ears have been turned off.

My mind tuned elsewhere.

Missing what's happening, what's been said.

So unsure. Where once I was, now I question.
Can so many things change, and both still be right?

What am I doing?  What and who do I want?

Questioning. Furrowed brow and worried chin.

Aching chest and squeezing heart.

Holding breath to quell the ache.

A thought, and butterflies run up my skin.

A shudder of pleasure, like a wave running through my body.

My heart skips and dances.  My thoughts leap.

I feel whole. I feel happy. And suddenly, I feel great.

Another thought, and I come crashing down through the glass floor agian.

Lying there amidst the shattered glass, dazed a bit.

Looking around me, brushing the pieces from myself.

Swallowing the fears.  Hiding the tears.

Hiding. Always hiding.

What I really want. Who I really am.

Hiding to protect.  To stay safe.

Hardly daring to open up, for fear of having to close again...

Back.  Back to reality.

Back to the floor, with glass around me, because of me.

I brush off my hands, lace up my shoes, get up on my feet,

And dance again.

Wondering.

Spinning.

Questioning.

Hoping.

Pausing.

Looking.

Nothing.

Locking.

Quiet.

Still.

Love, Me.