To the Patriots out there...This is for you.

You know...The Fourth of July is this weekend.  It's important to me for a number of reasons.  But thinking of freedom, life, and patriotism lately...inspired this.  The spacing's a little funny, but I can't seem to fix it.  Either way, it's from my heart.

There at the parade
You see many sights
But none can evade
That one on the right.


The breath of all took,
The crowd looks on straight.
A hush, and all look;
Soldiers walking in gait.


A flag is then raised,
The Red, White and Blue,
Hats drop and eyes gaze
At the symbol of true.


Freedom was fought for,
Lives have been lost.
To live through a harsh war
Some know the real cost.


And yet, as the crowd stands
And watches the scene,
I spy in a Vet's hand
Something less seen.


This man looks no different
Than you or than I,
Except in the instant
That the flag goes on by.


You likely wouldn't know,
But he'd been in the war.
He knows why they go,
What we're fighting there for.


He's lived the hard life.
The impossible way
That men carry on
Each long suffering day.


A glance in his mind
You would probably spy
Something close to the kind
Of 1775.


Crying for freedom,
Searching for peace,
A war to be won
On impossible fees.


These men fought bravely,
As many now do,
And find strength in waving
Of Red, White and Blue.


This man I assessed
That day at the fair,
How was I to guess
He'd seen much more there?

 To some just a man
Others, Father by name
You can see in his tan
He works hard just the same.


His hands are worked rough
From yardwork and war,
But dear to the touch
Of a child of four.


His back still gets sore
"From the weather", He'll say,
But really it's more
From the bullet that stayed.


And yet, no one's been,
No one's seen what he's seen
Of the lives that are taken
Across the ravine.


Sometimes is said madly,

"They are doing no good".
He bites his tongue sadly,
and thinks, "I did what I could".


The bravery of them
Is unmeasurable for me.
The humility of him
Is as deep as the sea.

 There's a look in his eyes
When he hears people speak
Of a soldier that dies
While fighting that week.

 His own buddies lost-
They died saving his life.
But without their great cost,
Mine wouldn't be mine.


There's so much to say
The iceberg's barely been tipped
But the part of the day
That I'll never forget


Is watching his stance,
How he fought back his tears
Shaking, raised his hand,
And remembered the years.


I will never quite know,
Prob'ly won't understand
The true story of those
That fight for our land.


All I can say
Is, How grateful are we
For those whose lives pay
So that we can be free?


So this is for you,
If you've fought in a war.
Whether this soil or not,
It's worth fighting for.


To fathers now sonless,
To wives without husbands,
To those who ask God bless
The lives of their loved ones.


To those now preparing,
To those who have fought,
To those currently fighting
For freedom to be bought.


We raise our hands
To the Red, White and Blue,
And offer our thanks
For soldiers like you.


Yes, there at the parade
You see many sights
But none can evade
That one on that night.

This land is free.  I don't think I really realize that as much as I should.  I am free. I have knowledge of what is right, wrong, and can gain knowledge in whatever I wish.  I think the best knowledge of all is who I am, what I need to do in this life, and why I am here.  And that lives were lost for That freedom as well.  Thank You, to Joseph Smith and countless others.  Most of all, Thank you, Heavenly Father, for everything.

Love, Me.

Contemplations vs. Complications

Once you wonder,
Why's it so?
And sit to ponder more.
You can't be sure
What makes the thing go
Or why it's on the floor.

You sit and think,
And think some more,
But all you've come around to
Is that you'll sink
If all you're there for
Is to wonder why things do.

Yet, still desiring,
Your heart longs knowledge
Of why events occur.
Yet somehow you realize
You'll remain unsatisfied
If you just sit there demure.

No time to think
Only space to act
And try your best
And hope that your best
Is good enough
Not looking,   fearing,   trying...

...making, and doing.

Thought Process on the World.

Scott: so..... what are your thoughts on the world situation in general?
Me: I'll have to think about that one.

My thoughts on the world.

It's like a multi-faceted object, much like a rubix cube.  You can see some parts, you know where you want some parts, but you don't always know how to get the parts where you want them.  Sometimes you figure it out with practice, and you know how to solve the problems. 

Other times you make the same mistake over and over again and don't necessarily realize it...although others watching that know how to solve it are biting their tongue, letting you grow.

Sometimes you turn it sideways and pop a piece out and put it how You want...and realize later that may not have been the best choice.

You can keep trying, get frustrated and toss it in the trash, leaving it to waste, or you can humbly turn it over to someone that knows how to fix it and watch them clean up your mess in a few easy steps, sometimes undoing what you've done in order to do what needs to be done.

You take it back sheepishly...
And try not to mess it up so that you don't have to deal with that process over again, and/or just do simple moves you know how to control/fix. ;)

That, or else let worse come to worse, and hope for the Second Coming. ;)

Sometimes you're so focused on completing one idea that you don't realize there are other ways or ideas that are important and even helpful to complete the puzzle, or you don't see the good in the world for focusing on the bad.  Sometimes it's not bad, it's just different, and you'll always go for the white side first, or don't like doing the yellow or red side.  Sometimes you think people worry about the green side more than you need to, I mean...it'll all come together eventually, right?

I dunno...The world is really a great place, we just need to take care of it and the people in it, yeah?
That's my two-second, think-as-I-type thought process on the world. ;) Please don't get mad at me. I don't know why you would, but...it's a valid possibility.

Love, Me.

H2TYD

This is what's making me happy right now.

H2TYD.

Sweet.

Exhilerating.

Endearing.

Incredible.

Touching.

Favorite music Tracks: Yes. Most listened to: 1, 7-16, 22.

"...Love it." ;)

Love, Me.

Orem Summerfest...

...Or Winterfest in June. Either way, it works.

This is me with my family at the Summerfest in Orem, today. Notice the June-in-Utah attire...

Is that a turtleneck, you're asking? Why, yes it is. And a warm jacket...I left my coat in the car, but others wore theirs.

Oh, and the beautiful sky

It really is pretty, just not as much fun when you're at a carnival.  It rained. Like, drenching rain. I think my shoes are still wet...boy I was glad I didn't wear converse with the holes in the sides... ;)
 

...Good luck at the Parade in a half hour, PHS Marching Band...  (...you're gonna need it...) :-p  True, it's lightening up. But boy was it cold earlier!! I wish I could provide soup for them at the end, but that's a lot of soup. Oh well. Get some when you get home, eh? :)
 
All in all, it was fun. Ironic, but fun. :)
 
Love, Me.

Hearts

So many of you know, and it surprises me sometimes when someone I think knows doesn't, but I have a history of heart problems.  Nothing serious at this point in time, but back then it was.  Anyway, I had my routine appointment at the hospital today where we check to make sure my heart's doing all that it should be.
What do I do during this ex-tremely long appointment, someone's asked? I'll tell you.

First we get there.  Because my Cardiologist has many patients, we do a lot of waiting.  I'll take a book, or music player or something to help pass the time. 

4:15 A Tech takes my blood pressure, weight and height measurements.  The first thing that we do when we get into a room is have an EKG, or Electrocardiogram.  In English, it's a machine with some 15 leads that are attached to my body with stickers that measure the electronic wave lengths of my body.  A short print off of the results, and I'm left alone in the room with my mom.  ...you can't see all of the stickers, but trust me, they're there. ;)

4:25 The Cardiologist, whom I love, comes in, and checks my heart with a stethoscope.  We talk, ask questions, and then she leaves, and we wait for my turn for an Echo.  Here I found out that the reason my feet swell and turn purple when I stand is because of my blue blood cells that can't get back up my leg from a previous IV in my thigh.  Not serious.

4:45-5:30 Ahhh...the Echocardiogram, Echo for short.  Basically, it's just an ultrasound of my heart.  Really, it's painless, but I'm so ticklish that...well...you know. :) It's usually fine, though.  Hey, I get to watch Disney Channel. Rolls eyes. Disney's sure changed...

5:45 We usually go into another room, and the Cardiologist discusses my results with me.  Thankfully, lately I've been having good reports, with my heart as back to normal as can be.  We just do this now to make sure nothings happening that isn't supposed to be.  I can now come every couple years cause I'm doing so well, Yay... :)

5:55 After she says goodbye and leaves, another Tech comes in, and I get hooked up to a 24-hour heart monitor called a Holter.  7 leads hooked to 7 large sticker thingies... ahh, what fun.  Being allergic to Latex, they have to rub my skin with a special wipe thingie that puts a barrier on so I don't break out.  The Tech forgot to put the barrier on for the first few, so we had to take those off and rub, then reapply new ones.  At first I thought I'd be fine without the barrier, but the immediate relief and coolness when he applied it vanquished any doubts of allergic-ness to Latex......lovely...... The monitor itself isn't too bad, but gets itchy after a while. 

6:30 Holter's on, and we're ready to go.  I'll go back tomorrow to get the monitor taken off, but every time after this 2+ hour ordeal, I'm worn out.  I suppose I should exercise or something with the monitor on, but all I feel like doing when I come home is lay on the couch and sleep.  I'm feeling more energized today than usual, though, so maybe I'll go on a walk later on.  Thankfully the leads/monitor don't show too much, and if you aren't looking closely, you might not even notice them.  I can do pretty much everything I normally do, except get the monitor wet or have my phone close by it, or use a heating pad.  I don't think I'll have much problem with the last item in this weather... ;)

That's what I do at my Cardiology appointments.  Why do I have them in the first place? Recap:

Beginning of Eighth grade, I'm barely 13.  Second week of school, and I start feeling sick, and recall nausea, dizziness, tiredness and major dehydration.  That Wednesday at school it took me ten minutes to walk from the Attendance Office at Dixon to Mr. Kyte's room upstairs and down the hall, cause I had to stop every few feet and catch my breath.  That night began the throwing up. I hate throwing up.  The taste, feeling, and after-effects, everything.  True, you may feel better afterwards, but the ordeal is nasty.

Thursday I stay home from school, thankfully.  I'm throwing up all day, and passing out in the bathroom.  We go to the doctor where he can't get a blood pressure.  Now, being so dehydrated that you can't get a blood pressure is a bad thing, so the doctor practically carried me out to the car and we drove to the hospital.

Once there we go to the Pediatrics floor and try to get an IV in, and the second IV they get going gets accidentally pulled out, only my blood is dark purple/blackish and just kind of...pools instead of spurting.  Hmm.  Somehow I'm in my room, I don't remember getting there, though.  Chest pains arise, and I'm hooked to a heart monitor (not protocol).  An EKG is sent to the Cardiologist (mine, now) that happened to be there at 10:00 at night, and she says that it looks like a heart attack, and to get me to Primary Children's quick!!  So, my room in now has 15 doctors and nurses in it, and then Life Flight comes in.  You see, I thought I had something wrong with my appendix, so I couldn't understand the reason for all this...

I'm taken down to the helicopter.  I'm suppsed to be alseep from the medicine they gave me, but I'm not.  Being awake saved my life on the helicopter ride.  We land at Primary Children's, I throw up for the last time, and am in the ER, where I undergo several episodes of Cardiac Arrest.  (My heart stops) The next few days are a blur to me...partly cause of the medicines they gave me, and partly cause I didn't have my glasses a lot.

Ahh, the miracle of knowing sign language.  I couldn't talk around the ventilator well, so when my sister came we could sign.

This is a humbling picture.

But by the end of my first night at PCMC, I have a ventilator, Pacemaker, PICC lines, and IV's everywhere else, as you can see.  An X-Ray shows that my heart is enlarged to twice the normal size and is in my stomach cavity, caused by a rare virus called Myocarditis.  Of the few people that get Myocarditis, a third die, a third stay in the hospital for months and have problems the rest of their lives, and a third stay in the hospital and get better.  If you know me well enough, you know I don't do things the "normal" way most of the time.  I decided to take that 1% that's left in 100 and make something else with it.  After a taxing time, I was out of the hospital within 13 days originally entering.  ...That's not normal. ;)

True, I still took my time getting better, and it's taken five years to get where I am today.  There was a point in the hospital where I had a 17% chance of living, and if I failed any more I was being prepared to be transported over to the U of U hospital next door to be hooked up to a machine that would take over my heart's function...though I had little chance of surviving the few hundred yards between the two buildings.  This was on the second day of me being there, if that, I believe.  The test that would determine surgery arrived....

.....I had stopped failing.  We later found out that that was the exact moment that our friends and family had ended their fasts.....

.....I will not deny the Power of the Priesthood.  It saved my life.  There was no way I should have survived that experience, espeically as well as I have...  And I know that not everyone's story is like that, it's just how mine was.  I definately wouldn't wish anyone else such a painful ordeal such as the one I had in order to recognize the gift of life.

Anyhow, that was then, I survived the couple of months in a wheelchair in Junior High, the four years of High School, and am facing the rest of my life, trying to make it a good one.  It's more fun that way. :)  So now, doing well, enjoying the sunsets (Brilliant one tonight, I might add) and the rest of life. See you later,

Love, Me.

To See the Sky on Fire

This is in light of last night... :) (Sunday night)

I went on an adventure
As fun as it could be
I took some pretty pictures
And some are here to see.

It started early evening,

The sun was barely set,

The sky was bright on one side,
And darker in the west.

Then I saw the lightning.

Fascination had set in.

I watched from the front window,

Then went outside to spin.

A picture here, a picture there,

The sky chages every minute.

Then I get a message where

I'm invited to go be in it.

My mom said yes, (and thanks, I say)
So not five minutes later,
I'm in the car and on my way
To go see some more weather.

Up on the hill and looking out
I stood there with my camera.
The smell of rain was all about,
And the sky was turning fuchsia.

Now, laughing in the wind is
A favorite thing to do.
Imagine my enjoyment, as
It whipped around me, too.

Soon the sky grew dark,
And though the evening drew,
The memories of that embark
Are with me, through and through.

And though it changes every night,
It's always my desire
To catch it when the time is right;
To See the Sky on Fire. :)

Love, Me.

Oh, what do you do in the summertime?

So what are you all planning on doing this summer? I was going to try and post a list off to the side, but couldn't figure out how to make that work. It's not really a Poll...eh.  Anyhow, I have a tendacy to become bored easily, and don't want to spend my entire day on the computer or doing lame stuff for three months. So, here's a list of things to do in the summer! I'm planning on doing most of them...but we'll see. (feel free to add any amount at any time) :)

-Ride a bike. It's fun with friends.
-Take a walk. It's also fun to do with friends.
-Do yardwork/gardening. Semi-fun.
-Clean your room. More fun with music playing.
-Paint your room. I'm planning a mural for mine. It's gonna be sweeeeet ;)
-Go out and watch the sun set. AWE-MAZING, and if you tell other friends about it, that's nice, too. I usually go out between 8, 8:30-9. Then again, I'm a sucker for sunsets. ;)
-Start lessons of some sort. Whether you're personally taking them, or teaching them, they're rewarding. Hey, you could even do a short playtime thing for a small amount of kids in your neighborhood. I know PLENTY of moms that would pay to have a few hours kid-free a day. :)
-Get a job. Depending on where you work, it could be fun, rewarding, or just a paycheck. Hint: Make it fun.
-Clean your house. Your mom will love you.
-Blog/email. Semi fun/rewarding, I suppose.
-Visit your friends at their work, and leave before management becomes irritated. Loads of fun. :)
-Write a song. Or two. Or 19. Great entertainment, and some even sound good!
-Study from Preach My Gospel/other Church Contents and share what you studied with someone else. Good practice for missions and always good for your soul.
-Volunteer somewhere. If you can't find somewhere, make one. Home is a good place to start.
-Go on a trip somewhere. Take your family, friends, yourself, whatever. Get outside.
-Sleep outside on the tramp. More fun when it's not raining... ;)
-Drive with your windows rolled down in the rain. Very satisfying and fun. :)
-Go on a picture scavengar hunt. Find objects that look like letters and take pictures, then come back home and spell out your name. Enjoyable.
-Film a short movie with your friends/family and eat lots of popcorn while you watch it.
-Spontaneously take someone out to lunch, or for a walk, or send a message. You'll make their day more than you know, and often that day will be what they remember the most.
-Watch a good movie. At home, with friends, at the theaters, with friends, whatever. Watch one you loved to watch 10 years ago.
-Play frisbee in the park. Good fun. If you can throw a frisbee without taking someone's eye out.
-Have a BBQ and invite people you wouldn't normally invite and have fun.
-Write a book. Read a book. Just don't EAT a book.
-Talk. Fun. :)
-Think of more things to do and post them here so others can enjoy them!! :)

That's my list for now. Enjoy!
Love, Me.