Leap, Fly, Sing

Sitting quietly
Silently pondering
on things of the Future,
Present
and Past.

Sorting through feelings,
Re-running memories,
Filing
and Feeling
and Thinking.
Of what?

Everything.
And Nothing.
This, and that. Here,
and Tomorrow.
Back and Then,

Over and over,
New once again.
Repeating,
Echoing,
Silent. Again...

I'm back where I sat.
Invisibly seen.
Quietly conscious of what
this Could mean.

Rhyming on some.
Telling on others.
Content and I Wonder.
Where does the time go?

I forget it's December.
I hear whisp'rings of Spring.
I want to go Running,
or Flying,
or sing.

Something. . .
Something.

Inside me it's Spring.


Love, Me.

A Personal Post, and "Trust in God."

Some personal thoughts from a friend today.

"Trust in God. Trust_in_God. Let Him be in charge, and direct my life.  He knows. He is the One who times life, allowing things to, and not to, work for our greatest good. Look back and see. See the change in our (my) life. See how things line up.

Let Him be in charge.  Let Him direct my paths.  Things will go better when I do. ;) I may not always get my answer today, tomorrow, or even next week. Sometimes it might even take a year. But it's all in good timing.

We will all experience temptation in our lives. That is a fact. We will want to give in to it. We must not. My strength will come from Not giving in, in standing up, and putting my trust in God.  How much stronger will I be, if I can put my trust always in the Lord."

"Trust in God."


From one of my favorite classes this week....

"YOU'VE got to believe." -Elder Holland

"God answers our prayers. He answers your prayers. So don't you Ever give up." -Elder Richardson

"It's important to learn your lessons on your own, before God has to teach them to you. Because when God has to teach you, it's not very fun." - President Eyring


To Trust in God doesn't mean that I will only have good days, never to feel sad or lonely again.  It is not to suddenly be perfect in all that I do.  It is not to be better than others.  It is to move, and act, to hope and trust, to love and learn, it is to try.  And with some trying comes success, others we view as failure.  But all in good time.  The Lord see's where we are, and where we are going and how to get there.  It is Faith.  The fire that is inside of our souls that pushes us with a desire to know and learn. The source of our strength, the well of which we draw from, the breath that gives us life.  It is faith, love, truth, hope, learning, serving, acting... It is knowledge that we are not alone in this world, and that there is someone out there, with us, helping us as we search for Him.

We don't know everything.  I won't understand everything, and I will struggle and squirm, and try to understand.  Like my friend said, "He [the Lord] fills the void that is in our lives, and makes us better than we ever could become alone."  And for that blessing, I am grateful.  And through the good and the hard days, I will always,

Always,

Trust in God.

Love, Me.

I Wonder...

...What life will be like in another year or two?

...what life would be like if I'd kept with dance and drama in middle school and high school?

...if I will ever have a solo/stage voice like I want?

...How many of my posts will begin with or concern "Wondering"...

...What the world would be like if they held the Spirit of Christmas all year round?

...if all of my dreams will come true?

...What my dreams will be in a few years?

...How I can hold love and hurt and peace and joy and mystery all at once.

...if my arms and hands will ever be strong enough again...

...I Wonder.

That is all.

Love, Me.

The Answer is Within You

I don't know what I'm doing on here, but I just wanted to post something.

You know where you are right now? Remember where you were a year ago? Two years ago? Can you gague the difference? Can you see the growth you've had? Are you static, or dynamic? Where will you be in a year, let alone a month?

Think a moment.  Are you taller? Shorter? Lighter or heavier? Are you still struggling with the same things, or have you been able to move on and grow?

When faced with a mirror, can you look yourself in the eye?  Do you see those lines of wisdom added? The times of worry and strife?  Can you see where you are going, and the amazing places you can go?

I can.

I can see this in you.  I can tell it to you.  I can do my best to show it to you.  But until you look for yourself, it will go unnoticed by the very one it concerns.

You cannot change unless it is the sole thing that you want.

The answer is within in you.

Love, Me.

You are Greater than a Sparrow

Recent events have led me to leave my homework, and ponder as I try to sort out my thoughts. Please forgive me as I share some experiences.

Life is interesting. Lift is loving. Life is hard. How can anyone possibly hope to get through life without friends, family, and the gospel?

A couple of days ago I went to visit with a close friend who was recently in an accident. She has a severely broken knee and ankle, and a shattered wrist. As I was sitting there, listening to her as I rubbed her aching skin and muscles with lotion, I could feel her exhaustion coming through with every word and breath she took.  I became again grateful for the use of my legs for everyday activity, and my arms, even though Carpal Tunnel is creeping back in at alarming rates.

That leads me to think more- the other day I was buying some groceries for my mom at Maceys in Provo. Two gallons of milk, and some sour cream. After mastering the self-checkout (yes!), I figured I could just take them out to my car in the hand basket thing I'd got them in.  So I was loading my car with these groceries, and a woman I've never met before approaches me, and asks if I could give her a ride to DI across the street where her car is parked.  She didn't seem like a threat to me, and I figured since I had time that I could, and said yes. She remarked several times during that ride that I was "one of the greenest persons she knew", because I didn't use plastic bags. I remarked that I really didn't have to use them; there were so few groceries, and she still said I was still one of the most economic people she'd met.  I wasn't sure if that was really true, but I thought I'd just smile and leave it alone.  I was comfortable to just listen to her talk, and she seemed to like talking herself, and told me about her daughter and how proud she was of her, and thanked me repeatedly for the ride, saying how the world has seemed to become more closed. She told me how even her daughter, who was once happy and bright towards everyone when she was younger was now becoming more reserved.  She contemplated on how the world is becoming so different, to which I probably murmured some sort of positive response as I tried not to jostle us too much on the road bumps, and thought about how much I'd really like to go around the bumps, and how I didn't like parking lots.  While she was talking, I did a lot of thinking. About what she was saying, and reflected on the world I grew up that has evolved into the one I'm currently living in.  I dropped her off, and after waiting to make sure her car started, drove home up State Street. 

I did a lot of thinking on that trip home.  About that whole experience.  I mean, I'd just given a complete stranger a ride in my car.  And my thoughts on the way home revolved upon that, and how I'd considered her at first as not a threat, and how I'd come to that conclusion in a two-second glance.  I suppose it was my judgment, that she wouldn't hurt me, and...something.  Something told me it would be okay. As she was talking and mentioned her daughter attending Institute and wanting to attend BYU, I suspected she was LDS, although never asked.  Not that it should have made a difference.  Anyhow. There's my experience that I'm not sure should be brought across as a "Good Samaritan", because...I don't know why.

I read three books over the weekend. Different plots, different writers.  None of them terribly thick material, although sometimes it became deep in emotion.  But one in particular is coming to mind, by Anita Stansfield called By Love and Grace.  I'm not going to explain it because it's not pertinent right now.  But it was really, really sad.  Made my heart ache, and caused me to think.  About my reactions, and people's approaches, and life.  That was backwards, I know, forgive me.  Dan Yates wrote Call me Angel which was humerous but made me wish it was more openly LDS.  Also made me think.  The last one, Saving Kristen by Jack Weyland made me reflect on my life, circumstances and career choice.

These books prepared me, but I didn't know how much or quickly they would.  My friends told me things about their lives today, and without losing their confidences, has made me grateful for the things I have, and caused my heart to sorrow.  Sigh. So this is me telling someone about it, without saying anything.

For those who are hurting, I can't tell you enough how sorry I am.  Thank you for sharing.  ...You've led me to think. I'm praying for you.

You know that scripture about how God knows when a sparrow falls? Something so small and common, and yet He is aware of every feeling and fleeting moment in its life. He hears the tiny song it sings, whether impressive or quite common and ordinary.  Though it may not feel particularily special in any way, He loves that sparrow and cares for it in a way only He can.  You, His child, are so incredibly precious to Him; would He not also have great desires about you and your life? Would He perhaps be there, every step of the way, whether you knew it or not?  Caring for you, rejoicing in your triumphs and joys, mourning with your sorrows.  I believe so...for you are greater than a sparrow.

Love, Me.

Music. No, really, MUSIC.

One day I hope to make a music video like this.

Or like this:

Although I don't play cello, so piano and dancing may have to suffice. I'm fine with that. ;)

This one brings me peace:

All three of these help me do my homework and keep my sanity.

I hear songs like these and think, "I can play that. I just need sheet music...."



'Course, my mind is blown for several minutes listening to it. ;)

Others, like this one, make me smile and glad to be here:



Jon Schmidt, Steven Sharp Nelson, and Piano Guys...

...you are my hero's.

Just one more item for my bucket list. Hoo-rah.  ;)

Love, Me.

Wonders

School started this week. It's been good, albiet long and tiring, and often leaving me burning whatever few calories I'm able to consume in between class. But still, it's enjoyable, and in a strange way, I'm glad to be back. I've been reading, and studying, and reading some more, trying to keep up and get a head start on the looming midterms and eventual finals. Trying to remember.

Sometimes I wonder what allows us to remember.  I know I've studied about the brain in Psychology, and learned about the hippocampus, the ear canal and other contributing factors to the memory storage in our brains. But something I can take weeks to study somehow gets...left behind, in a way, by the random, "nearly unimportant" parts of life that I can recall in an instant.  Like a fact, a name, an instance.

Back to the beginning of last paragraph. What allows us to remember? A personal desire, wish, connection to the subject?  I can reflect and recall names, instances, smells, scenery...nearly recreating an entire experience in my mind, verbatim with what happened.  Easily.  We all have things that trigger a chain-reaction, such as a smell (it's incredibly amazing how intense a reaction I have to some), a phrase, a look, a place, a name...you get the picture.  And yet there are some things, some experiences that we all try to block out and erase because we regret them in some way. 

So there must be a part of the personal will involved here. 

Perhaps this is too deep for tonight. Perhaps it's just me trying to unwind from a level of intense and critical thinking. (Not to say that I successfully maintained that level today, although my language may dictate otherwise...) Perhaps it's a fond memory in itself, when I think of someone, and a whole list of memories comes rushing back, and a part of me wishes for that time, and yet another part has already moved on, and is waiting with a smile for me to keep walking.  I suppose I'll always keep walking, in a way.  It's in my heritage.  Some part of that Stubborn-King-Streak that's in me. Which I believe, along with other things, is what kept me alive this time six years ago.  Wow.  That is another story for another day, although if you're curious, go back a year on this blog and you'll understand better.  Not perfectly.  But.  Better.

You know that song by Anna Nalick, "Breathe (2AM)"? She has a line in her song that says how "life's like an hourglass glued to the table".....And that in itself is just one of an entire crew of thoughts and memories that came up. About change. About life. About songs, and music, and love, and finding out who you are and who you want to be, in the midst of chaos.  I suppose I've been one who is curious, and about things that people say who's logic makes complete sense in my mind. With the hourglass- "yes, it may be glued to the table. But...the table's not glued to the floor, is it?"  And I'd have this image of a wooden table on it's flip side.  Point?  Memories, and thoughts and imagination can create the greatest magic and wonder inside of us than the world could ever imagine.  My points may not make complete sense to you now, tomorrow, or ever. But for me...

...I'm left with proof that a magic of sorts exists. 11:11.

Truly, though, isn't that what thoughts and memories are?  Magic.

Lemme know what you think.

Love, Me.

This is the view...

...in my room.

Jealous?

I'd be surprised if you weren't. ;)

This has been my summer-long project. My good friend Maestro and I started this at the end of June, with ideas and practice sketches and paintings on paper, collaborating ideas in May, and putting the first strokes on in June. 

We started with the grass and a dark base coat on the oak (?) tree. The "shadows" you see of the branches are leftover paint I had from painting the rest of my room the light blue you see on the left.  This took a couple hours.

This stayed for a while as both of us traveled during July, then at the beginning of August, Maestro's sister Skipper joined us and we got this done:

The two outside trees are aspens, with a dark blue/black base coat.

Skipper did the mountains and...trees? Plus great technical support. ;)

That's us and the wall after a few hours of work...and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix paying on the laptop in the foreground...in case you were wondering. ;)

Rock. And grass. and flowers. :)

Maestro. ;) She did the trees, mountain texture, field texture, and flowers. And probably some sky.

Who knew I could have something like this? ;) I did basics- grass, sky, and supplied the wall.

After 5 hours of painting on Monday, we were done. :)

I learned a lot doing this. How to have a different kind of patience, how to blend things, I got to see another style, and experienced more boldness that turned out to be the greatest masterpiece of a painting that I could hope for. We may add leaves later on, but for now...I like my view. :) Thanks to all the lovely ladies who helped with this project: Mom, Maestro, Skipper, Martha Stuart for your paint, and families....  Maestro was phenomenal during all of this. She'd take my ideas in and understand my vision, then paint something I never knew we could. I'd be like, "Maes, I know blue and yellow makes green. But I'm getting grey! Help!" and she'd make green. I'd say "Can we add flowers?" and ka-ZAM there were flowers. Thanks, Maes, you're a lifesaver, and a great friend. :)

Basically, I love this. It's turned out even more amazing than I could have ever dreamed of doing on my own. And it's taken a lot more time than I thought it would....which is why we faded out the rest of the wall. If we want to add on in the future, I'm sure we could. For now, though, I've had a good time, and have lots to show for it.  By the way, for those who know where Arco is, does the mountain remind you of anything as you're driving from the Junction to Arco? I think it does. ;)

Sometimes adventure doesn't have to leave your home. :)

Love, Me.

Waiting...

Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting........

What am I waiting for?


Hmm.








Let's put a pin in this one.

Love, Me.

Life

Sometimes I don't know what to do.
Should I sit? Sing? Dance? Draw?
So I get on here, and blog.

Sometimes my insides just sit there and wait,
Just sit there and sit there,
Doing nothing. Barey moving, barely noticable.

Others a part of my soul is pushing at all parts of reality,

Trapped,

And can hardly contain a gut-wrenching scream to all parts of the universe.

Sometimes a part of me wants to sit in a hammock,
In my own little corner of the world,
And sit there and weep and breathe and cry.

Occasionally I'll get anxious, and restless,
And my fingers will play long, fast scales up and down the keyboard.
So long and hard it makes my arms ache.

Sometimes I stay up late into the night,

Because I can't sleep, can't dream.

Can't dream. For all the sweetness it brings, waking hurts.

Once I sat out with a friend, watching a movies under the stars.
I sat for long periods of time watching the sky,
And the moon, and the stars. Forgoing the movie. Just observing.

Sometimes I just want to talk.
Just talk. Remember. Nothing else.
Just, talk.

Of course, just as often I'd rather listen.
Hear others express themselves.
Because it's nice to be heard.

Sometimes I wonder, how can someone be so torn, so confused?

Content, and filled with longing at the same time?

Wonder, and yet know the reason why the whole time?

One day I'll know. I'll be fine.

Til then, I'll keep walking down this long, dusty road.

Longing, Listening, Loving. Learning.

Love, Me.

The most beautiful place on earth...

...and I get to live here for the next few days.

Idaho is amazing. I am absolutely in love with it, and have been since I was born.  I'm up here on the "King Farm" in Moore...a town outside of Arco and Lost River...where the famous King Mountain is that hang-gliders lift off of.  The sunsets are spectacular, the air is clear, the weather wonderful...and up here, you can understand the phrase in America the Beautiful: Amber waves of grain. Truly, beauty in one of it's best forms.

Tuesday I had a neat experience. Backing up, I went to the Single's Branch with three of my boy cousins, and the oldest of the three said he was going to do Baptisms for the Dead with the youth of the Arco ward.  So I got to ride with him, and do some family names, and go inside the Idaho Falls Temple for the first time.  Wow. So beautiful. They're doing construction work outside on the Temple grounds, but I got some good pictures of the Temple itself...and the falls across the street were magnificent.  Tristan said they were especially pretty when they had rocks at the edge of the falls, but still, I thought they were nice.

 

I drove my little brother on the three-wheeler over to the river down the ways, and we waded in it for a while on Monday.  The water was cold...but you didn't notice after a while. ;) We did manage to lose one of his sandals, and despite our best efforts to retrieve it...nada... Oops. :P BUT!!! We went back yesterday, and it had gone down some, and we found it stuck on a piece of wood! Hallelujah! :)

This place has completely taken my heart...I wonder how I'll be able to return to home in Utah on Monday. :-/  I love Orem, and the people and where we live...but I can't seem to get over how this place is.  I've seriously thought about living up here in a few years when I'm older and perhaps out of college...course, I could always transfer to BYU-I. Right? Eh... Not completely sure. I guess I'm just loving this change of pace.  This scenery.  The love of family and friends that is up here.  Something.  Blogger has been frustrating me for the past few minutes, as I've tried to add a few more pictures a few days after I first posted this.  I had things ready, we stopped to get lunch, and I came back and my tumbdrive wasn't working, and my post had been deleted. (Gah!!) Thank goodness for ctrl-Z. :P Anyhow, here's the updated version. :)

...Here's some more pictures.

When Nathan and I went over to the river yesterday, we'd planned on coming home after about an hour. Nice amount of time to get a nice little tan, right? Well, then our family came, and we stayed for another couple of hours. I'd gotten sunscreen on before we went...but you can see how that went. This is how I am now...semi-red on the arms, and red and white on the top. :P

We went out to take some updated pictures for grandma's wall...but the wind was blowing, so we'll probably wait until later tonight. We got these this afternoon.

These are some evening shots of the farm...

This one is my favorite right now. :)

Utah is definitely good. But it's nice to know that I can always call Idaho Home. :)

Love, Me.

"Nice.....jinx."

I think blogging comes in spurts. Here's an actual play of events from today, between me and my brother...

Me [Singing]: "Tomorrow night the lights will appear. Just like they do on MY birthday each year..." [I had just realized that my life fits quite well with Rapunzel's from Tangled.] (mutters) Unless my birthday's on a Sunday.

Guido: What?

Me: The song? From Tangled? Lights will appear in the sky tomorrow, like they do every year, unless my birthday coincides [HA!! (See a previous post if you're confused)] with a Sunday.

Guido: What?? What's the date tomorrow? It's not the Fourth!?

Me: I know. Tomorrow's the 2nd, and it's the Stadium of Fire. They're having David Archuleta sing.

Guid: Who's that?  (HA! again. Movie quote.)

Me: He was on American Idol. It was between him and another David. The other David won.

Guid: So, in other words, they're having a loser sing?

Haha, so, that was it. I thought it was funny, and hope it brightened your day some. :)
Ps. If you're a David Archuleta fan, I'm sorry to have offended you.

Happy 4th of July celebrations!!! :D Yay for FREEDOM!!!

Love, Me.

Sometimes Poems Don't Have Words

Sometimes poems don't have words,
and a phrase can be understood in a beautiful landscape.
Maybe it's a wave in an ocean,
or Perhaps the song of a bird.

Sometimes the swelling of a song,
That gentle and sweet breeze of sound
Can tell you more in a moment without words
Than a thousand dictionaries in the world ever could.

Sometimes a simple smile. A friendly hug.
A touch, a wave, a moment of laughter.
All exchanges. All magical. All poems in their own.
None requiring words.

Sometimes poems are recognized for their length,
Or perhaps the Honor of those who write them.
Some are known for their rhythm or rhyme,
Or the intricate stories the author weaves in them.

Sometimes a poem is as simple as a person
Pleading for someone to stay, to live,
And to hear that tender reply,
"I have."

Sometimes poems don't have words.
This one does,
So you can hear what you may not see.

"Your life is an occasion. Rise to it."

Love, Me.

And..then..there was..a title...!!!

You know when you kinda-sorta want to blog, and things have been happening since the last time you did (and even before that), but you don't really know what to talk about, so you just get on here and type whatever typical nonesense you want to?

Yeah, that'd be about now.

Mmm. Roses are blooming, there's some on my desk in a vase. :) My older sister is in Ireland and will tour Europe ("Ear-up" as my little sister would say) for the next six weeks. Lucky. ;) The Gospel is True, the sun still shines, the wind still blows, and somehow we manage to move happily on with each day of our lives.  Well, I try to be happy, anyway. I suggest you try it- it's more fun that way. ;)

Oh!!! I remembered!!! I had a wonderfully happy email this week...three scholarships to BYU!!! 1/2, 1/2 and a grant. THAT made my day. :) Many happy dances and thank-you prayers going around and around here.

I'm going to start painting my room this week, I hope. I'm thinking a mural...I'll post pictures if it works. :)

So yeah, that's life. Basically. Teaching lots...smiling lots...going to the Temple lots...yeah. :)

Oh, yeah. Happy first day of Summer.

Love, Me.

Hey it's June.

I got my tonsils out last week.  And my turbinates trimmed.  And so guess what?? I CAN NOW BREATHE THROUGH MY NOSE!!!!! :) It's been about 5 years since I've been able to do that, and it's amazing! I love it!!

It's now day 9, and my pain has gone down quite a bit, thankfully.  I'm still on pain meds every four hours, but the dose is lower, thankfully.  So, I'm still sleepy and dizzy a lot, but at least I can do things.  Like eat real food.  I've had more mid-night snacks in this past week than I have in a long time, haha.  My left side of my throat is more open than my right side, I'm not sure if I'm having an OCD moment over that or not. But oh well.  Ps. I'm "doing better", not "all the way better".  So my comments here may be a little out of order.

But anyways, life for the past week has been mostly eat, sleep, medicine, watch movies, repeat.  Not a bad life. I think I've seen half of Disney/Pixar's animated movies, again. Those ones are cute, but don't make you laugh too hard, usually.  Laughing still hurts. :P  But I'm waaaay super excited that I'm finally doing something for summer vacation- Zoe Taylor and I are hanging out tonight!!  It's the BYU Spring Chorale's concert in the HFAC...good luck, John!!  I was in University Chorale last Fall.  It was fun.  I sang.

(But what else would you expect?) ;)

Anyhow.  It's June, everyone!! My birthday is in a month and a day.  What should I get for my birthday?  Maybe I'll paint my walls, that would be fun.  It sounds fun to me.  After spending so much time in my room, looking at my blank walls, I think it's time for something in there.

Have you ever seen Kid History?? Look it up on youtube!! Here, I'll post the first one.  They're hilarious, I love them. :)  Watch them. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80entLldZOg

Anyhow, have a good day. :)

Love, Me.

Living the Lord's Will.

So, an update on my life.          Sort of.

Summer vacation is going well.  Except for, it's not actually summer yet.  It's still spring, and rainy.  I like the rain.  I like the sound and smell of it, and the fact that if it rains, I don't have to worry about watering the lawn that day. ;)  Sunday I ran in the rain with some good friends.  (Still in my church clothes.)  My hair frizzed after that, but it was still fun.  Next time, I'm using my ninja skills to dodge all the raindrops.  Hahahaha. :)

Speaking of which, it was my Best Friend's Mission Farewell on Sunday. :-/ He's entering the MTC this Wednesday...(tomorrow)...to prepare to serve the Lord and His people in Bogota, Colombia.  Isn't that neat??? :)  It sounds so exciting, to be in an exotic place for two years, devoting all your energy into serving and teaching others.  It makes me so happy that he's doing it.


Me and Keys. :)

 Happy enough to almost forget to be sad.  Heh, man.  I was doing so well, too.  I know it's the right thing, and am so thrilled that he's doing this.  It'll be a good learning experience for both of us, I know.  And we've had lots of time to play beforehand.  If I didn't have the confirmation that this is the Lord's Will, I would be having a harder time, I think.  Anyway.  Preparing myself for this, I promised myself that I would be strong, happy and supportive, so that "goodbye" wouldn't be so hard.  I did quite well, I think.  I didn't feel overly "sad and melloncally", which I took to be a good sign.  I got thinking to myself, "this is gonna be alright", and you know, it pretty much was.  I was good until the hug goodbye.  Then suddenly I realized what was happening, and I let go of all the strong and happy feelings in that one moment, and cried.  Out of sadness? I suppose. But I think it was more of fondly reflecting over one page in a book, and flipping to the next one. 

[I'm taking a moment and stepping away from my life's story here, and contemplating for a bit.  This doesn't particularly sound like a "blog post".  But, is there a certain Code of Conduct on how you're supposed to sound like on your blog?  Or is it just guidelines of what I've read in others? :j (shrug).  Back to the story, anyhow...]

There comes a moment in your life when you know that no matter how hard you may want it, or want to want something, you can't get it back.  And it's honestly the biggest relief to let it go.  The best way for this to happen is when your heart is full, and even though you may still be crying, you feel at peace because of the Spirit that is in your life, comforting you because that is His job.  I've looked back and observed myself and others change, and sometimes even get a glimpse of it in action.  As he walked back to his house, I realized at that moment that a page had been turned in both of our lives; he looked like an Elder, and I am a woman and Daughter of God with things to do in the meantime.  I'm doing fine, because I know that the future will be even more exit (short for exciting) and fun-filled, and (pause for 11:11) I have the knowledge and comfort that I am trying my best to live the Lord's Will, and no matter what everything will turn out all right. All Right.

Heh. Well, now that I've been telling you a bit of my life, I might as well tell the rest.  I'm having surgery Thursday.  Surprise!! (To you, not to me. I already know about it.) ;)  For at least 5 years I haven't been able to breathe through my nose properly, and never seem to fully recover from colds.  So, sometime on Thursday (don't know when yet, I'll find out tomorrow) I'll go and get my Turbinates trimmed and Tonsils/Adenoids removed.  Then the doctor said I'll hate him for about two weeks.  I sure hope not. :P  But just in case, I'm not starting Summer Lessons til midway through June.  It's kind of hard to do my job as a piano/voice teacher when I won't be able to talk and sing, don't you think? :P  I love my kids, though.  We had our End of Shule (School) recital last Friday; I'm so proud of them all.  We've all come a long way in a year.  :j  I'm excited for another one.

Oh, and.......I changed my major. Surprise #2!!!  Months of deliberating and careful prayers have brought me to feel confident in my decision that though it would be fun and rewarding, Music Ed is not for me.  This has been a hard decision.  But, I did teach for three years in High School, I'm still teaching now, and I don't have to have a degree for what I'm doing.  So what am I changing my major to?? Well, dear School of Family Life, please accept another student.  Family Life is the one I've chosen.  I actually don't know what I can do with this degree, I'm going to have to research it more.  But it's not difficult for me to happily admit that Someone Else is directing me right now.  If it turns out that this changes again, so be it.  But, honestly, I'm grateful for a change...Family life will take me about 2.5-3 years to do, I'm thinking, as opposed to the 4.5-5 years for Music Ed.

I can assure you that this past month/week has been interesting.  Only a little more than a month out of shule, and look where I am!!  Crazy!!  There have been ups, downs, and in-betweens, and I'm trying my best to keep things up.  There's a better view from there.  Schedule for the summer: get better, work/teach, smile, laugh, play, love, learn, paint my room/mural, grow, go to the Temple, etc.  As long as I'm living the way I'm supposed to, I'm okay with that. :)

I love you all, thanks for letting me ramble again. :) I'd apologize for getting so personal, but it is my blog. ;)Til the next time,

Love, Me.

If I had a frying pan...

Teacher?

Learner?

Student?

Which one?

All three?

Ps. I think I'm gonna have a major change here......

.....but that's what life's about, right??

That and....eating...tacos.  I like tacos.  I should go to bed.  Cause it's late. 

And Saturday.  (It's tomorrow today, this morning tonight; I just want to say that curls are all right.  And that I love Tangled.)  That's it.

"This is either brilliance, or madness."

"Amazing how often those two co-incide."

Goodnight,

Jennenenenenenenenenenenenenenenna :)

Love, Me.

May the forth be with you...

Ha. Hahahaha. Lisp. Happy Star Wars day...

I haven't really been so much into blogging this year, I think.  Things have happened.  I just...haven't been blogging.

Is that a bad thing?  I don't think so....

But, just letting you know, I'm alive.  :) Very happily out of shule (school) for the next four months.  Still teaching piano and voice, and cleaning/spending time with my mom.  Enjoying the warmer weather.  Ahh, this is what Spring's about, eh?  It's good. :)

Have a good day,

Love, Me.

Dear World, take two...

So, I'm done with finals. Actually, my Freshman year of college is done. Heh, wow. Isn't that crazy? I think it's a little crazy. I even said "far out" yesterday, NO idea where that came from. ;)

I liked this last semester better than the first one, probably a few reasons for that, but I won't bore you with those.  But I really think NOT taking 16 credits is better.  I still had seven classes, but only 14.5 this semester...Physical Science, :) Family Finance, New Testament, :) Social (ballroom) Dance 180, :) Human Development, :D Book of Mormon, :D and Music 176. That equalled to 7.5ish finals... Music 176's final was in February and was my audition, Dance was the Swing, all the other tests...I say .5 because there was a take-home portion of Book of Mormon, but it was like another final. So. yeah.  Big year, good year, tough year, lots-of-learning year, happy year, sad year, and I can't believe it's all fit into one year.  Less than a year, I guess, but hey.

But I'm done. :)

I partied (par-tay) yesterday, which was so much fun.  I actually didn't know what day of the week it is was most of the week, just that the next day would be such and such a final, and they all need to be done soon.  So, I couldn't remember if it was Friday or Saturday, but was just glad for the break. :)  Had delish food, rested a bit, and went to the Provo Temple with some good friends, and even made a new one! :)

Turns out the Creamery is really busy right after BYU's Graduation. Go figure.  So we went down to Maceys where they have lactose-free cones for cheaper anyways.  That's the first time in a long time that I've had ice cream. It was alright. ;)

I don't know where this idea came from exactly, but suddenly we were looking for chalk, and found some for $1.06.  Then we were on our way to the round-about on 820 North (still in our skirts/suit, mind you) and set about to have some fun.  There was some crazy good talent that occured with those five colors of chalk.  I was amazed. :)  And really, really loved it. :) Favorite quotes from the day:
"It fits perfectly!", "Kami, pull over!!", "Chalkin' up a round-about, that is what I'm talkin' about",
"Gas Station" "What? I don't get it" "Hey, yellow car!" "What, where!?" "I Still don't get it!!"

Okay, I loved yesterday. Thanks to everyone who came, it was a real pleasure to be with each of you.  To anyone who didn't get to come, I'm sure there'll be more escapades in the future.  I've looked back over this and am kind of considering just deleting it...it sounds a little less ordered than normal, but hey.  That's life, right?

Ps. go to http://www.mylifeisaverage.com/ it's hilarious. I'm thinking we should put at least some of yesterday's events on there. ;)

Anyhow, this is me blogging. Because it's something I do. Occasionally.

Have a great day!! :)

Love, Me.

Meh

Sometimes I have a lot to say, sometimes I don't.  Sometimes, like now, I know I should be doing homework, but I'm not.  And for the past few minutes or hours or days, my life can be summed up with this expression: Is it summer yet?? ;)

Of course, I like spring, too.  You get your flowers and blossoms on trees, and the first groups of students studying outside in the warm 60* air.  Sometimes, if you're lucky, you can keep a small part of the sun on your skin.  This is what people call a "tan".  I get very slight shadings. ;)  Also with spring comes the ending of school soon, (Finals begin tomorrow and go through next week), sunglasses, and hay fever.  And the Testing Center is filled with a cacaphony of sniffles and coughs running through the air; one of the few things students can share in that room. 

Oh, by the way, I got a 97% on my Physical Science Unit Four Exam!!! Imagine that!! :) I only missed one- best score I've gotten on ANYTHING my Freshman Year...scratch that, I aced a Book of Mormon quiz last semester, but this was a TEST!!!  And Physical Science, at that! Now if I can do that on more finals...I got a 94% on my New Testament this afternoon.  "Things are lookin' up..."

Before this I was laying on the floor in the middle of our living room spread-eagle* and my dad walks by and says, "by sitting in your chair, have I thrown off your Karma?" ;) No, dad, you haven't.  I just...all of my studying motivation energy ran off when I sat in the sun this afternoon, I think...

*I saw a HILARIOUS shirt today.  It had a picture of an imprint of a ski-er in the ground, poles and all, and said, "I screamed like an eagle, but fell like a rock".  I laughed inside. ;)

Life is short.  Time is long.  Something like that.

I just got kicked out of my studying zone, twice.  I think that's fate telling me to go and watch a movie and eat "unhealthy food".  Right? ...No one's around to say otherwise. :P :-/

So, yeah. This has been me rambling.  Tune in next time to see if I say anything spectacular. ;)  Good luck with life, all.  Have fun.  Be happy.  Be good.  Don't eat bugs.  If you're going on a mission, Congratulations, my friends!!! :) You make me happy. :) <-- see, like that.

Love, Me.

Let your light so shine...

Light.

Sol

                        La Luz

Ljus

       Lys                                      

3 Nephi 12:16 and Matthew 5:16- "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven."

Live. Laugh. Learn. Light. Love. :)

Love, Me.

An update...

Hey.  I haven't posted in a while...wow.  There just...I haven't...found a need to, I guess? That's lame. I mean, I think about it semi-frequently.  But then my time gets consumed with school and teaching and life, and blogging gets...pushed to the back.

So this is me not doing my homework, but blogging.

An update? January...Started another semester at BYU. Only 14.5 credits this time, whew. Much easier. ;) Favorite classes? Second half of the Book of Mormon, Dance 180 (Social Dance), Human Development and Physical Science.  I'm also taking New Testament and Family Finances, and had Music 176 for about a month, then that finished. Music 176 was a Music-Ed prep class that was held four Wednesday nights from 7-9:30. Whoo.

February...Well. I've been teaching since January, teach 4.5 hours a week to eight wonderful students, whom I love. My Valentine, Nicole auditioned for Treble Trio's at her school, and MADE IT!!!! I was so excited!!! :) I auditioned for BYU's School of Music going for Secondary Choral Education.  That was on February 17th.  Thanks to Joey that was my accompanist and moral support, I didn't hyperventilate before, during nor after the audition, a plus. ;) Auditioning was...a little serious on my mind, but wasn't too terrifying. I guess. Heh... ;) I turned in my Portfolio on that next Tuesday, while getting over a cold.  Timing is wonderful, eh?

March has been amazing so far.  I FINALLY saw Tangled last Saturday with my brother and sisters, Nathan, Karra and Lissy. SOOOOOO much fun!!!! I've heard so many good things about it, but I didn't realize How good until I saw it for myself. If you haven't seen it, Go see it. If you have, go again! ;) 

So many good things happened on Saturday. :)

Oh, yeah. I got called to be the Relief Society Chorister in my Young Single Adult Ward. That's fun. :)

I was almost a substitute accompanist for Provo High's Choir Tour Send-off concert tonight. That's...where I'd be right now.  But, (thankfully, I suppose) the concert got moved ahead to next week, so the original accompanist can do it.  Good luck, to you all. You'll do great. :)

This week is Dancesport at BYU.  It's one of the biggest comp's in the Nation, and guess who's competing in it on Saturday?? Yours truly!! I'm doing the Cha-cha with a friend from my Ballroom class, and I'm way excited.  I attended last year's, (but didn't compete, obviously) and remember it being so much fun, even just to watch.  My teacher is doing the Cabaret, the "trick dance" where you do lots of fancy lifts...I watched them practice, and boy, we're in for a treat. :D

I guess I'm kind of working backwards in my week, here. Or from the outside-in. Heh. This is sometimes how my journal entries go, too. Things as I remember them, in semi-sequential order. ;)  Anyhow, Friday I'm planning on the Temple, although I just realized the time I wanted to go is also during a Dancesport event I want to watch, and I've already bought tickets.  This is where a machine that allowed me to be in more than one place at once would be nice, because there's also an A Capella Concert at BYU that night....AHHH!!!! Choices, choices. :p

You know, this has been a really slow, anticipating week. Why? Cause I'm planning "a date to Africa tomorrow!!!!!"!!!!! Ahh!!! Okay, we're not really going to Africa...it's just a "for fun" thing...we're saying...
...we're really going to Tangled. ;) Ahh!!! Just as exciting!! And, you know, although it doesn't always work out to do things spontaneously, like decide to go somewhere 30 minutes before hand. But at least you don't have to practically die in anticipation of something you plan four days in advance.  Patience is definitely on my list of "Working on" virtues. ;) Speaking of Virtue, this week is my "Extra be Good" week.  To try and be a better, more virtuous woman. I Love It. :) (Ps. "Extra be Good" doesn't refer to Grammar.) ;) :-/

Man, even though it's hard at times, Life is good. :) Heh, I heard in a movie, "If you ever want to make God laugh, just tell Him what your plans are".  True, eh?? It makes me laugh, anyway.  Oh, right. My mom says she loves telling me jokes, cause she gets to laugh twice. :P Thanks, mom. ;)  She'll tell it, I'll laugh. She'll laugh harder cause I only got 90% of it, then I tell her, "Go ahead and laugh again" and she does.

Don't you just love the dinner table?? :P Heh.

Right. So....I get home today, and got some lunch. I was checking my email...and there's one labled "BYU School of Music Admissions".  I made a loud shout, and scared my brother in the kitchen.  You know, When I applied for college, I only applied to BYU. That's it. No where else.  And it was as I was waiting for a reply back from the University that I realized I should have probably applied for more schools.  I mean, I was already accepted to UVU, but, really...I had no "Plan B", other than BYU. :P As my Aunt says, "Life is all about Plan B". I've heard someone counter, "Well, I'm on Plan W". ;)  Follow the Lord's Plan.  Then you'll be on the right one. :)

BYU has a really interesting habit of getting you all excited for things at least three times when they email you about admissions.  First, when you see the email. Second, when you peek through your fingers only to find out that "a decision has been made", and you need to sign in to see what it is. Third when you again find yourself peeking through your fingers to see what the decision is.  Nice, eh? :P

Anyhow, back to the audition stuff. When I went in for my interview, they had missed my portfolio. That was like, "oh, no." But then they found it. So, as the term is "Wing it", that's what we did.  I actually got an email yesterday that said "Music Education Portfolio" or whatever, (which effectively surprised/scared me during class. That's why you don't check your email during class) but that was just to say to pick it up because they'd finished reviewing it.  So I did.

Oh, right, the email? ;) Heehee, keeping you in suspense...




(keep scrolling...)



...as of now, I'll be auditioning again next year.  Which is nice, so I don't have to go to Spring and Summer right after this semester, and right before Fall Semester.  I also didn't get any scholarships for Spring/Summer, so hey.  More time to do generals.  Make sure that I'm doing the Lord's Will, for that's the only one that matters.  Am I sad?  Yeah, I suppose.  I thought I was ready and prepared, what with three years of previous public school music teaching, and my own Music Studio.  I think I'll be a little more humble this time...depending if this is the right thing for me to do.  I'll be doing a lot of praying and thinking for the next while over this matter.  The Program is very hard to get into, and takes about 4.5-5.5 years to complete, I believe.  Whoo.  Good luck, you all that are doing it now.  So, am I sad? Now, no.  Just accepting, humbly learning, and looking to the future and "Plan B".

Now I get to figure out exactly what "Plan B" is right now... :P Heheh. :) :-/

But, I do want to say this. Thank you sooo much to everyone who helped, listened, prayed for and supported me in this.  It means a lot to me, both that you would do it and that you did.  To Sarah that I met in my Human Development class who gave me more support in 20 minutes than she'll ever know.  She's strengthened my resolve, and added a new facet to my "Plan" I'm considering.

To the students and many talented singers of Concert Choir, thank you for the amazing video that was put together of you.  YOU are the reason I want to teach.  YOU are my inspiration.  I cannot believe the immense amounts of knowledge and potential you have, and your questions and answers are just...mind blowing in depth.  Keep it up, eh?

Thank you to Mr. Mendenhall, to Mrs. Garrett, Mrs.Van Orman, Tiave, Mrs. Peterson, Mom, Dad, my Brothers and Sisters, and wonderful Friends for your continued support and especially for the help I received during specific times with you.  To my many other teachers and leaders for your support. I hope that I can one day become like you.  To my students, my wonderful, ever-persistent, ever-growing students, you are my life.  I love teaching you and in turn learning from you.  To everybody, Thank you.  Most especially, My Dear Heavenly Father, I Thank You.  You hear my prayers when I'm in need, you heed my pleas and comfort my heart.  What glorious support from On High. :)

Life's better when you're grateful. :)

Well, that's my life basically right now.  Still 5'8". I still wear contacts, and glasses at night when I take them out.  Still somewhere between a buck 29 and a buck 35.  I'll be 19 in a little less than four months.  Weird.  Haven't been doing as much composing or major piano songs lately...but hopefully soon.  And through it all, the Gospel is still undoubtedly, inescapably, wholeheartedly 100% True. :)

Go to the Temple. 

Love you all, and wishing the best with everything. :) :-/

Love, Me.

Poems by my brilliant brother, Nathan. I was absolutely entranced. Here they are, for you to read. Enjoy....... :)

Music



Bursting through all senses


Inspiring my entire mind


Enveloping it, I am consumed by it


I am a master, I can accomplish much


All things are comprehended


My entire being is motivated


My spirit is speeding, flying


My mind is powerfully concentrating


My body is twirling, flipping, spinning, dodging, lunging


And then a change…


I am now an omniscient teacher,


Flowing with streaming movements


Teaching my humble students.


I soar through the sky,


Absorbing the sun’s rays


When I am suddenly whisked away into a ground-shaking battle.


I immediately charge into the fray,


Knowing that, even though their weapons screamed as they flew by,


I would defeat them.

-Nathaniel King

Ten Living iPhones

Ten living iPhones started to walk,

One was purchased and used as a rock.

Nine living iPhones walked to the Sprint store,

One found an Android and existed no more.

Eight living iPhones had a nice day,

One accidentally fell onto a lunch tray.

Seven living iPhones drove to the school,

One fell out the window and landed in some guy’s pool.

Six living iPhones found a live wire,

One put its finger in and then there was a big fire.

Five living iPhones thought they would eat,

One got trapped in an oven and melted from the heat.

Four living iPhones were sitting in a tree,

One got pushed off and then there were three.

Three living iPhones downloaded an experimental app,

One downloaded a virus and now is just a scrap.

Two living iPhones were getting very scared,

One took a little jog, but by trucks he was not spared.

One living iPhone didn’t know what to do,

So an old lady came up and baked him in her stew.

-Nathan King

Words from the Heart

                Laugh           Learn
            Love Share    Talk Taste
        See Smile Grow Give  Touch
       Listen Hear Christ Light Dance
       Sing Receive Smell Feel Open
        Discover Express Friendship
          Capture Joy Understand
              Play Live Feel Hug
                   Write Thank
                          Try


Happy Valentine's Day, love you all!!! :)

Love, Me.

The Girl and the Sky

Once there was a Girl thinking of a friend. She thought and She loved so much that She created a flower, one of great beauty and sweet smell. It's orange petals sang so sweetly in the breeze, that She created another flower, and called it Red, for the fragrence of apples was so strong it turned the leaves to fruit. Delighted in Her creations, She was compelled to create more beauties; spinning yellows, pale blues, vibrant purples, tender greens, and more.

 

The Sky became captivated by Her creations, and shone brightly on her precious flowers. He noticed Her tears as She beheld Winter approaching, where Her precious colors would be put away for a time. The Sky asked for a blessing of Her graceful beauty, to hold in His care when the world saw Her beauties, and to show when it forgot. So the Girl took some of Her best creations; the reds, pinks, orange, yellows, blues, purples and so many more colors, and held them dearly to Her chest. When She opened Her arms, the breeze caught the creations and carried them to the Sky, where they are put on display for a short time, to remind us of the beauties from Earth. The Girl looked up to the heavens and found Her colors in beautiful array, and smiled.

The Girl grew old, and one day no longer walked the long roads lined with Her colors. The Sky searched all over for Her, but could not find Her, for She was buried beneath an expanse of Red, Orange, Blue, Purple, Green, and Yellow. When He realized this fate, the Sky pulled a blanket of clouds over His face, and cried out great cascades of rain for His Friend. With amazement, the Sky found that with each drop of water, the flowers grew stronger. The Rain came softer, gentler, easing into a mist. The Sky eased His face out with the Sun, and wished for a way to honor. She was the most beautiful and gracious of all, and deserved beauty.  So as a tribute to the Girl, the Sky let down some of the colors She had given Him in the best ribbon He had- a Rainbow. As the sparkling light touched the ground, the Earth sang with a flutter of bird's wings, rustle of tree leaves, and sigh of flower's petals, and joy was forever known throughout the land.

Every so often you can see the story of the Sky and the Girl.  Every so often you can hear the laughter and see the joy that was shared.  And ever so sweetly, You may yet be able to see the pathway of the Rainbow that the Girl took on Her way from the Earth to the Sky.

All because a Girl thought of a friend.

"What's life without a dream?" -Joey Cannon

Love, Me.