I know that I'm over you. I can walk down the street and smile when I think about you and where you are now. I don't lay awake for hours before falling asleep wondering where you are and why we're not together.
So why does something someone else do or say make my heart pound and my breath catch and my limbs freeze as I am trapped in a memory of you?
After a few moments I am freed from this grip of the past, and reality comes flowing back with the long, shallow breath I take and I close my eyes to wait for the dizziness to pass, and I wonder; Why does that happen? Am I really over you?
I have my answer a few moments later when breathing is restored to normal, and it doesn't pain to think about you, good times and bad. When it doesn't feel like my heart is being squeezed and wrenched unkindly from its place in my chest. When I'm not stopped in my tracks to bend doubled over from how hard it hurts. No tears come, though they wouldn't have.
And though for a moment I may be sad for what was seemingly lost...I look down the summery road, through the golden sunlit air and tree-lined walk, and watch you smile and hear you laugh and play...and find peace in being able to turn away.
And I know I have moved on.
Down my own road, through the tree-lined walk to a single maple tree overlooking a still pond, where grass grows as tall as your knees, and flowers bloom freely but without overabundance, where a single lark can be heard calling out his melody to be answered across the meadow by his friend. Where you can lay out at night and watch the stars glow in the sky as it turns, where you wish on the ones that fall from their places, where you can feel the warm breeze turn cool during the night, and smell the fresh air from a valley away. Where I wait without waiting, breathe without breathing, and grow without knowing. Someday someone will join me. So with peace, farewell to you. I am here, living in solace.
Solace I have been waiting a lifetime for, and found.
Love, Me.
So why does something someone else do or say make my heart pound and my breath catch and my limbs freeze as I am trapped in a memory of you?
After a few moments I am freed from this grip of the past, and reality comes flowing back with the long, shallow breath I take and I close my eyes to wait for the dizziness to pass, and I wonder; Why does that happen? Am I really over you?
I have my answer a few moments later when breathing is restored to normal, and it doesn't pain to think about you, good times and bad. When it doesn't feel like my heart is being squeezed and wrenched unkindly from its place in my chest. When I'm not stopped in my tracks to bend doubled over from how hard it hurts. No tears come, though they wouldn't have.
And though for a moment I may be sad for what was seemingly lost...I look down the summery road, through the golden sunlit air and tree-lined walk, and watch you smile and hear you laugh and play...and find peace in being able to turn away.
Down my own road, through the tree-lined walk to a single maple tree overlooking a still pond, where grass grows as tall as your knees, and flowers bloom freely but without overabundance, where a single lark can be heard calling out his melody to be answered across the meadow by his friend. Where you can lay out at night and watch the stars glow in the sky as it turns, where you wish on the ones that fall from their places, where you can feel the warm breeze turn cool during the night, and smell the fresh air from a valley away. Where I wait without waiting, breathe without breathing, and grow without knowing. Someday someone will join me. So with peace, farewell to you. I am here, living in solace.
Solace I have been waiting a lifetime for, and found.
Love, Me.
just. beautiful.
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