Through the Looking Glass

I look in the mirror, and who do I see?
It seems I should know the girl staring at me.

Some days she smiles, some she seems sad.
Sometimes I wonder what kind of day she has had.

At a glance, she's a woman. On a whim, she's a girl.
Some days her age just seems a great whirl.

Her eyes can be haunting, dark green or bright clear.
I cannot recall the last they allowed tears.

Sometimes her cheeks blush, but often they're pale.
I've seen her put blush on, most time to no avail.

Her lips become full as she applies her sweet balm,
They deepen in color and smile real calm.

Some days it takes much to lighten that face.
I just want to reach out and those sad lines erase.

But before I can get much too close to reach her,
She turns quickly away, leaving sight in a blur.

Some days she's a beauty, and I just stop and stare,
And admire her eyes, and her smile, and her hair.

I don't think she minds, this enrapture from me.
It's amazing for me to be near one as she.

Sometimes she'll come home, and with a look through the glass
I know it's been hard keeping up in her class.

Some days her clothes fit her, and she curtsies at me.
Often they hang loose, with dismay I can see.

She'll leave early morning, late at night she'll come in.
Sometimes I wonder if she's eaten anything.

Sometimes she'll avert her eyes from your stare,
I wonder what secrets she hides under there.

She never will tell, just smiles with a nod.
I wonder how long she can keep this facade.

I wonder what kind of a world she lives in.
Is the food really good? Do her shoes ever wear thin?

I wonder what placees she visits and sees.
Building real high? Forests and trees?

Perhaps she's a hero, and saves lives at night.
Maybe she sometimes prefers to have light.

Does she like movies with tales of lore,
Of maids in long dresses, and men off to war?

Does she sit in the sunlight and read a good book?
Does she dance in the moonlight in her own little nook?

Two worlds joined by glass, a portal of sorts.
So much to be said, much more is left short.

Oh, the things I could know of the one that I see.
The thing that's queer most- is that woman there is me.

Ps. I survived

Seven classes...check.
Sixteen credits...check.
Didn't fall asleep in class...check.
Didn't get engaged, married, or the like...check.
Did all my homework...raincheck!
Passed seven finals...check. I hope.
Went to bed early...check.
Went to bed in the early hours...check.
Learned stuff...check.
Achieved things...check.
Blogged....~squiggle~
Lost camera, earbuds and pencils...check. :-/
Saw people grow....Check.
Ready for break...Check.
Ready for bed...Check.

Goodnight. :)

Love, Me.

I want to Fly.....

I want to Fly.... but first, I must See....
Fly, to the sky!
See, to be free!!
Ah, what glorious feeling that would be....

Anyone care to join? There's plenty of room, and space to grow.
Plenty to share and feel with me,
For the Wind takes up as much room as the Sea,
And though covers the land, is quiet as can be,
And softly, can comfort what eyes cannot see.
A blanket for hearts, and the land, and the sea...

I want to Live, but first, I must Know;
What I'm striving to, what I'm yearning for.
For time will move forward with or without me,
And stop when I've found what will set myself free.
 
There comes a time when Time itself ends.
The days become weeks, the names are just penned.
When you forget who you are, and why you were there,
Just living the moment, letting down your hair,
Regarding no age, no time nor no past,
Just letting life go- is when Life seems to last. :)
 
I want to Rest, but first, I must Work.
Rest, to know peace,
Work, to find rest...
Ambiguous. One cannot be without the other.
Where is my balance?
What truly are my desires?
 
I just want to Fly.
I only wish Love.
I yearn for Peace.
I desire Care.
 
Do I wait? Do I go? Do I try? Will I know?
 
Ahh, but I just want to fly.... :)
 
Love, Me.

Happy Thanksgiving...

I've tried several times to write my feelings down today.  *chuckle* Needless to say, there are several drafts started all over my desk area... I haven't even titled this yet, I guess I'm just waiting for inspiration to come or something. 

I have the blessing of being able to wait.  Not being demanded to do something right now.

I'm listening to Josh Groban right now, and will probably go and play the piano in a minute.  Three of my uncles are here, they came for Thanksgiving Lunch.

I have the blessing of hearing.
I have the blessing of expression of emotion...
I have the blessing of a loving family, most of them close by and all welcoming.
My arms work.

I can remember a time just recently when my arms constantly hurt, frequently to the point of wrapping and icing, and sometimes so badly I couldn't even flex my fingers, let alone open a granola bar wrapper. Yeah, that bad.  My arms work, pain free.

I lost my camera a couple of months ago, so I haven't gone on as many sunset jaunts.  But I do have the ones I took over the summer, and a phone that takes pictures, plus my family has a camera, and, hey- I've got my memory... And eyes to see each one, a warm house to return to when it's cold outside.

Recently a man in my ward died, leaving four young kids and a wife behind.  One of the girls is in nursery, where I'm a leader. She clung to me last week, and wrapped herself around my heart in the process...This is the second father to die in seven months in our ward.

I have a dad...he's healthy, loving, and takes care of me.
I have friends and places to turn to when I can't find my way, am lonely, lost, or hurt...

This morning I took a warm shower with clean, good smelling soaps, and had clean, dry clothes choose from to wear.  I had the ability to flip a light switch with a finger and light up my room.  When I was in the hospital five years ago I had to use both arms and my body strength and strain to flip a switch.

I have a healthy, beating heart.
I had a very nice lunch today, and have food in the fridge if I get hungry.
I have the blessing of taste.
I have the blessing of health.
I have the blessing of healing.

Several friends are on missions right now, and several are receiving calls, and going out to serve...

I have the blessing of the gospel in my life.
I have the Glorious blessing of soon to be eight Temples within an hour drive of my home...
I have the blessing of having my church behind my house, and practically my whole neighborhood active.

The list goes on, as I think of more things I'm grateful for. Contacts, so I can see. Glasses, when I run out of contacts. Contacts to talk to. ;-) (Had to throw in a bit of humor there...)

Really, This whole earth.  Yes, I do have a hard time at school sometimes and the load is stressful at times. But then when it's gone I don't know what to do with myself. Grateful for each end of the spectrum, and the times inbetween, I suppose.

Thank you, Heavenly Father for all the blessings I've received.

Thanks, all, for everything.  For listening to my thoughts when I share them, for laughing at, with, and for me.  For taking care of me.  For letting me take care of you at times, too.  So many of you, (I'd dare say all) have changed my life, and helped me on my way.  Thanks for that.  I hope you all can find things to be grateful and thankful for in every day...

...I will be forever grateful for you all in every one of mine. :)

Love, Me.

Ps...Christmas is in a month. :)

It is...That is, Life...

Grow is the song of the young aspen tree,
Paint is the joy found in art.
Hear is the tune sung in bird's melodies,
Sing is the full body's part.

Learn is the will of a young child's mind,
See is the view of the Mount.
Feel is the sound that the pianist brings,
Peace is the strings of guitar.

Cry is the pain that all tragedy knows,
Laugh is the healing inside.
Know is the look from a wise man's mind,
Care is the hug from mankind.

Run is the release of a child at play,
Walk is the talk of the friend.
Swing is the call of the tree with a rope;
Fly is the song of the heart.

Write is the soul of the woman who thinks,
Show is the meaning of truth.
Smile is the knowledge of some greater meaning,
Love is the meaning of life.

Love, Me.

A riddle

You are driving along in your car. It is big enough for you, and a passenger seat, no other people.  You pull up to a bus stop basically in the middle of nowhere.  There are three people there.

Person #1: The epitome of love at first sight- this is your one true love.  Forever with this person has your name on it. :)

Person #2: Your best friend.  You would take a bullet for this person, and vise versa.  This is the one that you can say anything, do anything, and they'll understand.

Person #3: An elderly woman.  She is in dire need of emergency medial care, and can't wait for care.

Your choice: Who do you take, and why?

Well...what would you do? :)

Love, Me.

A disheartening thought...

...as I realize I'm not letting go.  Why am I doing this to myself?  How long has it been?  Days, weeks, months?  I'm trying.  But even in the act of getting up and leaving I know in the back of my mind that I'm half turned, waiting, hoping to be called, ignoring the cruel harsh voice that says "never more".

What is faith?  An hope of the heart, backed with some confirmation that what you believe in is real.

What is hope?  The thing that carries us when we have nothing left to ride on.

What is wishing?  Wishing is the very last chance/hope our hearts have that what we desire may somehow come true.  Wishing is living in the past, forgetting the present, and looking for the future.

Wishing is stupid.

I don't use that word very often, so that's saying something.

I must say, that for someone that doesn't believe in "wishes", "wishing" or having wishes granted, I certainly live a life that follows the act of wishing well.  Not saying they don't exist, I just simply have a hard time putting my trust in them.  I try to plant the idea of wishing and believing in others, because I know Believing at least works, so they can have hope.  There is a liberating feeling when you Believe, and/or know someone Believes in you.  You are your only limit for success.

I sometimes feel like one who is preparing everyone else, and in helping everyone else, when the train arrives found she was not ready...and was left suddenly behind.  The glasses were held up, but when I could finally opened my eyes, he was gone...

Oh, the deepest regrets of my heart!!  That which I do not mean to be said, is somehow spoken, and somehow that which I truly desire to express is hidden, with only glimpses coming out.  And I wonder, "what if?..."

...What if???

I want to be ready for the world.  I want to world to be ready for me.  But most of all, I want to be...me.

How will that "me" come about?  How will she be discovered?  I cannot tell you, but perhaps you could tell me?

For anyone who may read out there, friend or foe, I bid you good luck in life.  I apologize if I have shocked or offended you in any way, and would ask your forgiveness.  I suppose my biggest question is, who sees me, and what do they see? Who do they see? Where do they see me?

97.

I smile in memory of the young boy that met me and called me "mom".  I'm not sure what convinced him of this, for I certainly have no reason to claim this title...
...all the same, I love you, sweetie. Keep smiling, okay, Bub? :)  Try not to kill yourself in discovering flight from the top of a couch. ;-) Let me know if I can do anything for you, ever and always.  Same with you, Laki and Bud.  You guys are amazing, and a reliever in my life, All of you. ;-)

The rest of you, stay true; you never know who's watching. :)  If you can, keep wishing.  If you think you can change my mind about any of this, I'm open for any suggestions you may have...

Love, Me.

Guido!!!

Hey, Guido, thanks for "following" me.  It made my day. ;-) And everyone else, as well.  It makes me smile when I see that list...I don't know if that's conceited or not, but there you go. ;-)  Thanks, all. ;-)

Oh, and Kaden...אתה נראה כמו גמל

...I think you can guess what that means. ;)

Ps. everyone else...that's Hebrew. ;)

Love, Me. :)

Would you?...

If you could do things over in life, what would you do?

Would you laugh more? Sing louder? Cry less?
Would you care stronger? Love harder? Hate less?

Would you try again, even if you knew you would fail?
Would you send handwritten letters to your loved ones by mail?

Would you listen better- at home, at school, and abroad?
Would you plant flowers, help others, praise God?

Would you maybe go fishing with your sibling or father,
     Even though it's not really your "thing"?
Would you sit down more evenings and listen to whether
     Your mother had reason to sing?

Would you bite back that word that you let slip by your tongue?
Would you help a young neighbor climb up a slide rung?

Would you bake up a cake, and give it away?
Would you give of yourself the best every day?

Would you spend less time talking, and some more time doing?
Would you think more of others, and less often of you?

Would you give all your friends a warm hug every day?
Would you tell your sweet family "I love you" every way?

Would you dance in the rain more?
Would you play in the sun?
Would you chase after rainbows when a big storm is done?

Would you say to that person, "I think you are neat"
     Regardless of how they may act or may think?

Would you spend all your days wishing for things out of your range?
...Or would you get up and get out there, and make a great change?

It's up to you.  Today is your day.
What you make of it all is in all that you say.
Get up and leave reason; just give of your best.
Do all you can do, and let God do the rest.

It's true you may not make the best choices in life.
It comes with the deal- it's something called strife.
But you can make today a yesterday worth living,
And look forward to tomorrow- a whole new day full of giving! :)

Love, Me.

There's this thing...

...called Life.  Let me tell you something about "Life".  It happens.

Boy, does it happen.

There's this other thing, called college.  It consumes vast amounts of your time whether you want it to or not, and will gladly take more if you let it.  So you sometimes can find yourself going and going and going (sometimes you grab a snack along the way) and then *BOOM* it's 10:39pm Thursday night...and...you get on here, because who knows why. 

Hmm. Ever noticed something? Someone blogs about something, then if you check around, several other people have blogged about similar things...and they didn't even plan it! (Well, to my knowledge, anyway.)  If this sounds a little familiar, I promise I'm not copying anyone.  I'm just saying what I feel like saying, so there.

I really don't have much of anything to blog about.  't's why I haven't updated for a couple of weeks.  Which, is sadly rare for me, since if nothing's happening, I can usually find something to contemplate about and zing you have a blog post.  But I haven't been much in the mood for anything lately, except play the piano, but what else is new? :-p (haha...no pun intended.)

Speaking of which, I played the piano in the Wilk today.  You know, the one in the corner of the open floor by the Cougareat?  That someone's always playing Schmidt on? I can proudly say that, although I do know and love Schmidt, I played an original.  Or, three.....but hey.  It was 7:30 at night, there were like, 5 people MAX on that floor, and two of them were me and John Werner.  Let me tell ya, Piano is A LOT more enticing than studying for a Psych exam. ;-) (Although, John did make it fun) :) It's a little interesting...it's the second time in less than a week that I've played that piano, and both times the 'first time' in my life.  And you know what?  Even though NO ONE really seems to care whether or not I'm messing up or playing around, I was still a little self-conscious.  It baffles me, but not a whole lot, because I understand why...I think I honestly just wanted to say "baffled"... ;-)
...guess what? I've been playing piano for over 11 years now.  Wow.  Long time. Ish.

Ha, I guess I do have something to blog about, after all. Whattayaknow? ;-)

But.....I'm done.  It's getting late, and I really ought to go to sleep.  Some happy thoughts...I think I'm going to go to the Temple tomorrow.  I haven't been since middle of August...and after a habit of going every week since...holy cow, this time last year, can you believe it, Zoe?? I miss it.  So much.  More life updates from the past little while........
........
......... .
um, yeah. Not a whole lot to say.  We did get How to Train Your Dragon, though, I'm quite exuberated. :) *curiosity*...oh, come on...spell checker is saying that isn't a word...I thought it was...a little help, here?

Just go to bed, Jenna. :-P

Well, All, I can say this.  The Gospel is true.  About the only thing in life that I've found to be true and stay true.  And, please, por favor, prepare yourselves for the future.  We never know what's coming or when, but wouldn't it be nice to have a head start when it gets here? I think so...and I want each and every one of you by my side when it comes, okay? :)

"When it hurts to look back and you're afraid to look ahead; look beside you and there will be friends [me]."  -Some plaque I saw...

I love you all.  Stay true.

Love, Me.

Look at Your Life...You Can do Miracles

This song makes me purely happy.

Look at Your Life

This particular version with Brian Stokes Mitchell in person....ooooh it gives one reason enough to love baritones.  :)  Yes, he is the one that plays Jethro in The Prince of Egypt, my only regret is not knowing who he was until recently.  I know the site takes a long time to buffer...but it's worth it, I promise.  More than just watching the movie version, although that is a favorite, as well.

Not only do I love this song for the person that sings it, and the way he sings it, (expression!!!) but also for its many messages.  When we think we're above others, worth more than others, step back and humble yourself.  When we have literally nothing, then "there's a lot to go around". ;-) 

Just...share what you've got.  The beautiful and illustrious Katie Jenkins shared this message (and song, for matter) with Concert Choir last year, and her "Motivational" has stuck with me since then.  We may not feel like a big contributor, but no one can sing like you can.  No one can smile with your sparkle.  You are the only one that can be you, and when everyone contributes, you get a picture, a symphony, a masterpiece. :)

Another part of the song I really "heard" recently was- "How can you see what your life is worth? Or where your value lies?...How do you judge what a man is worth?  By what he builds or buys? You can never see through the eyes of man. You must look at your life- Look at your life through Heaven's Eyes".  The world will do it's best to tell you that you're not really good enough, and will tell you what it thinks of you and your worth.  Status is based on the outward and monetary basis only.  You will never feel or be "good enough" in the view of the world.  ...but look for a moment through the eyes of the One who created the Universe...one who Sees....and then, then, you will see the great worth of your life, of yourself. 

The intricacies of messages and life are curious works and wonders.  It's what causes two people to suddenly cross paths again in life at the precise moment it is needed, miraculously in the whole world's life.  Have you ever tried to make something work "just right", just for you?  Let me tell you something, yet again.  The world will not do all it can to help you with your life, let alone a small moment in it.  But, if you step back, think and allow yourself to trust in the Lord, you will see how every single moment in your entire life has been the best, both for you and everyone else in the world.  Promise.  It's amazing...and gives me chills when I start thinking how far back events started moving for my circumstances now.

Along with that...comes this other song I love from the Prince of Egypt.  Side note...if you know me, you know I don't believe in coincidences.  I do, however, firmly believe in a Plan in motion.  I also believe in miracles.  So much.  And the fact that people can try their hardest to take everything you hold most precious and dear, and they will only succeed if you let them.  They can say you are captive, that you will be severely punished unless you follow their laws, but you can still choose to do it or not.  "You can do miracles when you believe. Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill", meaning it's hard to kill the faith.  There's a line where Moses says, "Pharaoh has control over your lives.  With a single word he can take away your lives, your freedom. But there is one thing he cannot take away: Your Faith" (Paraphrased).  Ahh.  That leads to my next favorite song- When You Believe

Concert Choir sang this song this past year, and I must say, it was probably in my top favorite 5 songs that we did.  Some people "got sick" of it, and didn't like it.  I never got sick of it. :)  True, it wasn't perfect.  But, the feelings, the harmonies, the message....ohh.... Perhaps it's just because I love The Prince of Egypt.  It's a possibility......nahhhh.... ;-)  It's all amazing.  Dreamworks did a stellar job on this film, and all other films they do. 

Anyhow, I just wanted to share this.  It's amazing.  The Gospel is amazing.  Life, though difficult...is amazing.

Who knows what miracles we could achieve...if we only believed?

Much love,

Love, Me.

A site to blog, and a mind to explore...

A chance to rest from hard work's drum
A time to think before I'm gone
A place to sit before I run
A friend to see before I'm done.

A place to pray and feel at peace
A name to praise and sing His grace
A man to teach about life's mills
A girl to learn of said life's wills.

A spot to sit and see the view
An ear to turn to hear the world
A time to leave life behind me
A chance to see what God must see.

A man upon a mountain's tower
An open channel for great power
A vision seen, and then he knew
A place is here for me and you.

A spot to sit and rest up some
A view to feast, and rest eyes on
A time to sit, and a time to play
A chance to write about my day.

BYU, JFSB, Education in Zion exhibit, floor 2, east side.  By the windows...

Love, Me.

Haiku's can be fun. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator... ;-)

So...my dad sent these to me.  It's a good thing I wasn't in class when I read them--I snorted right out loud on a couple of them. ;-)



A "paraprosdokian" is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect.
* Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.


* I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.  ehhh....I've heard this one. :-p

* The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

* Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

* If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

* We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

* War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.

* Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

* The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

* Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening," and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

* To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

* A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.

* How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

* Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

* I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.

* A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

* Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR."

* I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

* Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

* Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

* Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

* A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

* You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

* The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

* Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

* A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

* Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

* Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

* I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

* Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

* There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

* I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

* When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

* You're never too old to learn something stupid.

* Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

* A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

* If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

* Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
 
So, I hope you have a good day.  If you didn't, why not??
 
Don't eat bugs.
 
Love, Me.

The Road Less Traveled...and Loved Along the Way...

I didn't do all that I "should have"...
I'm not saying I did wrong;
It's just when opportunity came up-
I couldn't pass along.

I woke a little earlier
And with that extra time
Said to my younger brother,
"Happy birthday, friend of mine."

I walked along at campus
And on my way to class,
Was sprayed by a stray sprinkler
That wasn't on the grass.

I could have scoffed, I chose to laugh,
And walked with higher step,
(Though hard to do, I must admit
With a textbook along with HEP)

I ate outside, enjoyed the sun-
Who knows how long She's there?
The leaves on all the tree's'll be gone,
With Winter in the air.

I used that bit of money
You know, my little spare?
And with it bought a present
For my brother, with such care.

My sister and I sang all the way home,
With the windows rolled way down,
You could tell we both were tired,
But we sang out for the town.

I played a little tune
With my brother oh so fun.
(We played a little harder
When out the window we'd see someone.) ;-)

And then tonight, at not quite nine
My homework yet to start,
My little sister comes to my side,
And tugs upon my heart.

So side by side, we sit and read
For "just a minute more..."
She snuggles by my arm, and heeds
My every word in store.

I did some homework; I read some books
I didn't finish, though...
But I'd never trade a day of books
For what I learned at home.

You can always gain more knowledge.
You can always buy more stuff.
But there's one thing you can't make up for-
It's for loving not enough.

That's why I chose my family
Over something, though important, yes.
Though I enjoy learning dearly,
I love my loved ones best.

It's late at night, it's time for bed
I know there's more to do.
But I have one question: With days like this...
What would you choose to do?

A Word of Advice...

Fruitless: adj. 1)Unsuccessful  2)Lacking or not bearing fruit  3)Doing (or trying to do) homework past 10:00 at night.

Just thought you'd like to know.  :-p  And, sometimes it seems fruitless to attempt to achieve some things in life, because people say so.  Do we believe them?  ...sadly, a lot of the time, yes.  My challenge to you?...

...Don't.

Prove to them what they thought impossible, and to yourself that you can rise up and do great things.  I firmly believe that NOTHING is impossible.  If it were, you wouldn't be able to think of it, right?
(I'm a girl (Win #1), I am Jenna (Win #2), so of course I am right.  Isn't that relieving?) ;-)

Now, logical and probable are slightly different, but that's a little too deep for tonight.

Moral of said story?

You can do hard things.  Nothing is impossible.  You. Are. Special.  "No one said life would be easy.  But it was the Mormons that thought to bring food along and make it a picnic." ;-)  Make the best of your situation; it's the one you've got, so you might as well.

Be good, Stay in school, Be nice to others, Don't eat bugs.  All that jazz.

Love, Me.

A Moment's Q & A...

Ever wondered "WHY??"










No specific question.  Just, Why?








....my answer?




...Because. :)  Because, My child, because. 




Then, I remember.  Oh.  That's why.






Then I move on.



Love, Me.

First week of BYU...

After starting my first week at Brigham Young University, I've come to this conclusion.

Learning is Heavy.

The classes, though fun and exciting, are hard, campus is large, but becoming more familiar, the air is just beginning to cool off.  I know this because it's cooler in the mornings on my way to school, and brightly warm during the day in between classes.  That, plus books, and the enormous responsibility placed on students, and I have come to the very pointed conclusion that Learning is Heavy. :-p

I was standing in line with my older sister Karra waiting to buy my 271 pounds of books, waiting to empty my wallet of about that much money......and became very much grateful for air conditioning.  That and scholarships, which I have been extremely lucky to have.  College is expensive.  And, me, as smart as I am, am taking...16 credits?  Plus, starting next week I'll be teaching eight or so lessons during the course of the week.  Ps. the earliest I'm getting home is around four.  If I were to give you a list of words to choose from in describing me and my schedule, here they are: Busy, Insane, Busy, Tired, Jenna, and Blonde.  Hair color is still the same lightish-brown/red/blonde it's is, but mentally I still have my blonde moments.  And I'm not trying to complain, I'm just stating that this is A LOT of work...

The first day of classes I had two: American Heritage at 11 and Intro to Archaeology at 2.  Two classes.  I, being smart walked around campus with my backpack on during part of the break, and so when I got home I was exhausted, in part also because of the new endeaver I'd just undertaken.  Then what do I do? ...go on a longish bike ride with some of my family....

...you can see the obvious trend of smarts I'm using. :-p

The next day I had four classes, starting with Book of Mormon at 10, Strengthening Marriage and Family Life 12-1:25, Psychology 111 from 1:35-3, and then University Chorale 4-5:30.  Strangely, I did much better with Tuesday's schedule than I did Monday.  Huh.  I was still tired, mind you, but not to the point I was on Monday.  Tuesday, however, I added an extra few pounds (very noticable) to my backpack, as I've started taking HEP, my laptop to class for notes.  (Henry Victor Peterson, hp or Hep for short.)

But it's fun to see people on campus that I know.  It's funny to see people I haven't seen in a long time there, too...

Everyone says they hated American Heritage while they took it, but afterwards appreciated it.  I...actually enjoy it right now....perhaps that's because we've had all of one lecture so far, but hey.  Whatever works, right? ;-)  It's gonna be a lot of work, I know, but for now, I'm glad to appreciate it...

One of my favorite parts about this week...haha, occured at home, kind of.  Thursday night I was just so wound up from everything, I got my black and white shoulder bag, told my mom where I'd be, and set off on a walk around the block.  The irony is that I walk around all day at campus, with a load on my back, so the last thing I should want to do is walk, right?

This kind of walking is nice, though.  I find that no matter what, if I've had a long day, vigorous physical activity or not, a walk of some length around the block where I don't have to think is nice.  I usually go later in the evening, in between 8:30 and 9ish...and depending on my mood the length and route varies.   This night, it was simply around the block, and very happily with no shoes on.  Not even flip flops- I like to feel the warmth of the pavement, however, it's sadly becoming cooler as the months wear on...  Another nice thing, though I deeply miss the spectacular sunsets that clouds brought; I'm seeing the stars more.  Mars is particularily close, and bright, and is usually the first far-off light I'll notice, but then I glance again, and the whole expanse of sky is sprinkled with these loving lights of the atmosphere.  All at once, my breath stops, and so does my step, and I'll stand, and just LOOK, just gaze at the wonders in the heavens.  Time has a way of creating different beauties to captivate and fulfill us, so we can appreciate where we're at.  The cool and alert breeze that accompanies the sun rising over the mountains in the morning, the way the sunlight sets leaves and air alike with a living light in the morning as well, a stillness in the middle of the day, the heat, the smell of the day in the evening, sunsets, lights, stars, everything...

I hope, that if nothing else, I'll do as one of my professors counseled, to "learn to love learning for the sake of learning, and [allow] everything else [to] fall into place."

For, that's what life's really about, right?

I hope you all good days, and wish you the best wherever you are in life, and wherever it's taking you.  Keep in touch, okay?  It's nice to hear what's happening with you all...

Much love,

Love, Me.

Five Years

Five years.

Five years ago today I was throwing up so bad I was passing out.
Five years ago I was so sick the doctor couldn't get a blood pressure.
Five years ago I was put on my first heart monitor, which saved my life.
Five years ago I was loaded onto an emergency helicoptor and flown to the Children's Hospital in Salt Lake.
Five years ago tonight my heart stopped.  I was equipped with a device that would send a bolt of electricity though my body whenever this happened, in hopes of starting it again.  It hurt so bad I wanted to cry, but would pass out before I got the chance...
Five years ago my body all but shut down.  Machines were taking over, fruitlessly... my skin hurt so bad...
Five years ago I had a ventilator that breathed for me.  I would get so thirsty...
Five years ago I had so many lines and IV's I couldn't count them all.  Course, I would fall asleep from medication mid-sentence...
Five years ago I had a 17% chance of surviving the night...
Five years ago I was being prepped for a short transfer between buildings for an operation, the distance, though short, the doctors didn't expect me to make...

Five years ago my family and I witnessed a miracle.

Five years ago...I lived.  I beat the odds.  I started to get better...
Five years ago I was out of the hospital after 13 days.
Five years ago I was winded after walking up a couple of stairs, and could only go to one or two classes at school a day.
Five years ago I struggled emotionally at school while being in a wheelchair, and being called a "cripple".
Five years ago I was walking, though slowly, to all of my classes by the end of the year.
Five years ago I experienced a life-changing miracle...

...and I'm alive to tell about it, Today.

Miracles exist.

Love, Me.

The Close of August End...

...whoo, and what a month it was!! Here's a little sample of what happened for me...

Weather.  Well, I already posted about it.  But the weather's been amazing.  It's weather, right??  However, I'm not so excited about how the length of days are getting shorter...I'm missing the sunsets nearly every night!!! And when I do notice the time early enough, it's a clear evening, and those don't typically have a lot of color.  I have absolutely LOVED all of the rain/thunder/lightning storms lately, it's a nice chance to cool off, play in the rain, smell the rain, and just...love it. :)

There's been a lot of family reunion/dinner things.  They went well, the food was good, the company enjoyable. :)

And boys are going on their missions!!  I'm missing Nursery half the time at church because I'm gone supporting my friends as their leaving.  (No, I was not placed in Nursery as a child.  I'm a Nursery Leader, there's a difference.  But hey, I get snacks, haha.)  So, I think it's been three guys this month entering the mission field, or at least giving farewells, and more next month.  Good luck Elders!!!

Oh my this month was filled with plenty of "Last Time to Play" with friends.  It was fun, though.  One good friend spent the day with me once, we had an adventure of a time trying to deposit checks, trying on dresses at the mall (and getting stuck a couple of times), and just enjoying laughing together.  Thanks, Ky. :)  Another fun time was spent at my favorite movie, How to Train Your Dragon, where I spilled MINIMAL popcorn, thank you.  YOU spilled the rest, I'm certain!!  Then you blame it on me, thanks... :-p  It was a fun day, though.  Meeting new people, seeing old friends again, good times.  I also went up to Squaw Peak for my first time, wow.  And didn't get electrocuted during the lightning storm, another plus!! Hahahaha...  Ahhh, fun times, fun times.  That's not all that happened...but some of it. :)

I had my first "in charge of" recital for my 10 piano/voice students.  That was a crazy, bigger than I expected but enthralling event.  My dear sweet students either sang or played their best for their parents and friends about two and a half weeks ago.  I couldn't be more proud of them if they were on American Idol, some of which I don't doubt aspiring for.  And though there were a few bugs on my part- (I left one girl's music at home!! So I played from memory as best I could, and improvised the rest- AHH!!!) we made it through, and I survived. :-p  Plus, Josie Jo came for the last part and filled my draining reserves with Sunshine.  So it was good anyway. :)

Temple Day.  Ahh, blessed, welcome Wednesday afternoon Temple Day.  I'm hoping to be able to continue the tradition, as it keeps my sanity in check, but BYU has a way of stepping in and being frustratingly "Steadfast and Immovable", so you'd better do your homework.  Which I should be doing now, but...I needed a break.  Meh.  I'll make this quick, I just looked at how much needs to be done by tomorrow... :-/

I'm learning how to whistle.  My mom still teases that it's cute that I'm practicing and learning, but....yeah...don't know where I as going with that thought...Anyhow...

Relationships have changed, both in my life and those around me.  Because I know Someone Else is in charge, I know they're for the better.  Key word being "better", not always "easier". :)

Freshman Academy for BYU was Wednesday through Saturday last week.  We spent a lot of time outside in the sun, so some people burned.  I'm surprised- I usually burn...and I think I may have gotten the slightest of tans...emphasis on slightest... But it was great to meet new people from around the US and elsewhere, and to see some familiar faces as well.  One guy from Montana says, looking around the field filled with about 4,000+ freshman, "I'll bet there are more people on this field than life in my hometown".  One person, asking as if to question, "They say there could be rain tomorrow..." (clear sky).  I look up, nod a bit, and say, "Yeah, I guess so".  They're not sure if I'm joking or not... ...I wasn't... ;)  Welcome to Utah, I say...

And, of course, the inevitable, BYU.  Wow, haha... eh... The first day of classes (yesterday) completely wore me out, and I only had two.  Walking ALL over campus with a backpack in the hot sun, I'd say about 5ish miles all together, then I came home and went on a bike ride with my mom and brothers.  Insane??? Yes.  Today I had four classes, and did much better, somehow.  It's getting better as time goes on, I think, except when I think of all the papers and reading assignments due and the fact that I'm still on the computer...I'll finish up quick.  Ps...I don't recommend starting out college, especially at a University with 16 credits.  Just so you know.  Unless you're exceptionally insane, as apparently I am...

Uh, yeah.  That's some of what's happened during August End.  It's been better in some ways than I expected, and harder in others.  But, what's life without a few bumps along the way?  (If you know, will you let me know?) ;) haha...I'm so funny...

Anyhow.  I'm fairly sure life is about to become a lot more hectic than I'd like, what with 50+ pages to read nightly, essays, and I'm not even getting home til 6 every other night, possibly teaching one or two nights...man.  In some ways, I miss high school.  Enjoy life while you can, right? :)

Much love, Stay sane, Don't Eat Bugs.

Love, Me.

By the way...

...Anyone who reads or has been invited to read is more than welcome to push the "Follow" button...it makes me feel special.  :D You're also encouraged to comment, or push the little buttons at the end of the blog post.  I like feedback, or just at least to know that someone reads what I have to say...                   
...I also wonder who, if anybody reads this...or if I'm just posting here for me...     
...you know? Like... maybe I'm just funny that way...but...                                 
....I'm me, remember?  I joke at times, but mainly I just want to be understood..... 
So, yeah.  I invited you because I wanted you to know what's going on about me, and would love to see what you have to say.  If you don't really have anything to say, that's fine, because sometimes I write rhetorically.  And I feel kind of funny, like I'm asking or something, but just to clear the air, YOU, my friend, are always welcome to express your thoughts on my page.  It's fine by me. :)                                        
                                                                                                                        
I hope this isn't awkward.  Here, I'll tell a joke to make it funny- How are a duck and a bike the same? ...they both have handlebars...except the duck.  [compliments of Jon Schmidt] ;-)                                                                              
I don't remember exactly WHERE...but it's in one of his books, somewhere....         
Okay, have a nice evening, day, afternoon, or three o'clock in the morning.  Don't eat bugs.  Love you all. :)                                                                                     
                                                                                                                        
Love, Me.                                                                                                          
                                                                                                                        
Ps...This is called playing with the colors, and not being able to set them back to normal. :-/ :-p Yay me... ;-)

This, is Home.

Tonight I drove up Cascade Drive.
Not for any reason, except maybe the view.
It's beautiful...
I sat on this rock, where I am now,
Silent.  Not thinking.  Just letting my mind wander,
roam where it pleases in the open area.
Warm.  The rock is warm, and friendly, almost.
The air is cool, yet the wind is warm, and flows
around, like my mind.  Home, it says.
Dark purple mountains, outlined in orange light.
Water is silent, peaceful, undisturbed tonight.
I breathe in the smell of Utah.  Of the hills
by where I live.  I came here on a whim, so
what comfort am I seeking?


That of the Wind.


As I write it grows stronger, and recognizes.
Some say nature is silent.  I disagree.
You just have to listen for a language not of your own.
You have to listen with something
other than your ears to hear...
The Voice of the Wind.  The Tales of the Sea. 
The Whisperings of the Grass...the Comfort of
a Rock.
Beauty.   Simply....beauty....


This is earth.


This, is Home. :)
8:35pm-8:45pm

Love, Me.

A Walk With Nature

A walk down the road
I had seen such a treat
Nature helped to unload
Some of life's great feats.

The wind whipped around me
A chorus of glee;
I was already home
Where I needed to be.

The tree reached out softly
And placed on my cheek
A peck of dear kindness,
A hug of sweet peace.

The roses sang out
In their own special song
And filled my nose
With a sweet smelling throng.

The rain when it came
Fell upon me like wishes
And each of those drops
Felt like tender sweet kisses.

The sky, how it danced
And put on a display
Of thunder and lightning
And rain on the way.

I walk up my path,
My shoes in my hand, now
My soul is at rest
From my walk home with Nature.

Lessons in August End

Guess what?

I'm learning how to whistle.  18 years, and I still can't whistle to my heart's content.  Joe Fire was going to teach me how so that as I was walking for graduation I would be whistling.  Yeah, I forgot until I sat down. :-/ haha.  Murphy's law....

Anyhow, my little sister, Lissy, you remember her?  (If not, look down a couple posts)  She's 7, and can whistle any tune in the book.  And is currently sitting here with me, telling me to say that she is proudly teaching me how to whistle.  She's quite a good teacher, very positive, comforting, and will quite eagerly and easily one-up me as I try and try to get a note, and she'll get like, 20.  Murphy's law, yet again......

Here she is.

LuLu

Anyhow, that's an update for you.  My mom says she thinks it's funny that her 18 year-old is taking whistling lessons from her seven year old.  I just roll my eyes and try again. ;)  I'm doing better.  Getting more notes than plain air, now. ;-) :-p

All in all, life's pretty good.  Promise.  :)  Make it a good day!

Love, Me.

A change in the winds...

I want this to be brief, as it's been a long day.  But I decided to change around the viewing pleasure of my blog, as you can see.  I liked the other way, too, but I felt like a dark red and gold today, and I suppose I felt like a Narnia kind of approach, and wanted it to appear royal.  (Not to be conceited at all.  I just wanted to feel special.  Princesses/Queens/Kings are special, are they not?  Princes are, too, but I'm not one of those. ;)  Okay, everyone is special.  I know.  But sometimes a girl wants to feel...extra special??  Anyhow.) 
Then I was experimenting and discovered that it reminded me of a book, particularily Beauty and the Beast for some reason...and since I post things of my life, the idea of a book filled with chapters and stories from it became more appreciated.  So, here it is.

The nice thing is you can't exactly get a papercut from it. :D

So, this is a new chapter in my life, as part of August End.  Changing blog types.  Ha. 

Make it a great day! :)

Love, Me.

August End

**Disclaimer** This post was intended for somewhere near the first post of the month, or at the end.  However, given how events in life run, here it is, in its entirety. Hmm. Whattaya know? I spelled "entirety" right on the first try...(I just hit spell check) ;-) :-p


So, as you may notice, I'm calling not just this post, but this month August End. Not because I'm desperately hoping it will end soon, or that it feels like the end of the world, and it's not really close to the end of the month.  But somewhere in the last week of July I realized July would soon be over, and so the next month would be August, and immediately following August was "end", put the two together and you get August End.  Where did that name come from?  There's this amazing song by Jon Schmidt titled "August End" (so conveniently located in his album, August End).  In between How to Train Your Dragon and other random songs, I've had it running through my Internal Music Player quite frequently, just because it happened to be floating around, so that, the end of July plus me...

Thus, welcome to August End.

What happens in the month of August End?  Quite a lot, actually.  The name also signifies more than a song that I like to listen to.  August is literally bringing an end to certain parts of my life.  Not a bad thing, but still an end.  I mean, the summer's over, school starts up again, which means ostalavista [spell check, anyone?] care-free cool June mornings, warm July nights and hot August End days.  Not just any school, but many of us are leaving for college.  Before it was like, "Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be a Senior, wow!!"  Now...I'm starting BYU in twoish short weeks, a University!!  I mean, haha, Me!?  In a University!?  When did this happen??  Just last week I was in third grade and starting long division, and now, here I am, having graduated from High School two and a half months ago.  Where has the time gone??  ...What have I done with it?  Hopefully I've used it well...

...And then I realize, or at least think deeper/more carefully...about what I've been learning this past year.  I mean, 13 years of public school education's gotten me pretty far- I can read and write pretty decently, I know the basic grammar structure of sentences and how to connect them.  I can do long division without a calculator (granted, with one it's easier and faster), I've grown past "practicing" the piano and now play for pleasure, basically whatever I want, too, which is nice... But I really think it's been in the past few months that I've actually begun to learn.

Learning, that is, to love and appreciate life.

+I've lived for some 18 odd years now.  In each of those years there were at least 365 days, and 365 corresponding nights.  Doesn't matter how "Brilliant" or how simple, each of those nights had a sunset.  It was near the end of May that I first began to really notice the sunsets, and how breathtakingly beautiful they are.  Now, three months and about 2,000 pictures later, I'm out there nearly every night, partaking of the beauty that comes with that time of day.  And though they will continue, when the weather turns I won't have as easy access to them.  But, as of now, I see the beauty of sunsets.

+So I thought I was doing pretty well, you know, appreciating my days more with the sunsets.  Then I was reminded of Stars.  Nights were added to my list of appreciations. 

+Then one day I looked at the clouds and their shapes and personalities.  In the middle of the day.  It's amazing!  Then I looked at some by the sun and was completely blown away and drawn in all at the same time.  There are "sunsets" in the middle of the day.  You have to get the clouds just right, not too thick, but the thinner, smaller ones by the sun are all different colors- blue, green, red, purple...AHHH!!!  You can sometimes see it just by looking, but that can hurt your eyes.  I suggest sunglasses- they clear things up and you can see more.

+You've probably heard the song, "Rain, rain, go away".  I used to have a certain amount of contempt toward wet weather (well....I haven't really learned to fully appreciate snow at the moment) but rain was depressing.  Then, one day in May I was driving home from a Hope Squad party thing, and it happened to be raining.  I rolled down my window...and let in the love of the sky.  It was even better, because the sun was shining, it was in the early evening, so the raindrops were outlined on their pathway down, and looking to the left there was a rainbow.  I loved that day.  :)  And I now roll down my window despite the weather. [Yes, I do physically roll down my window. :-p]  Yes, you do have the very good chance of getting wet.  What's it gonna hurt you, and what's life without enjoyment?  Rain, shine, hot, cold, day, night...the window is down.  Yes, sometimes I have the AC on slightly while the window is down, but remember, this is me. ;-)  I like to feel the real Wind as much as possible.  Before I'd hate getting my hair messed up, and things blown around...now I love the wind, feeling it whip and blow around/through me...just...Wind is a part of Nature, which was created by Someone who was perfect, so...doesn't that make nature perfect?  And so I want to be a part of it. :)  Moral of the story/ramble, I love weather and rolling down my window while driving. :)

+At my old house, we had roses.  Red, pink, peach, perhaps even white.  To be honest...I didn't really think they were all that pretty all the time.  Occasionally, but not a lot.  I started to open my eyes a little more before we left, but now, along with everything else, roses here seem even more beautiful.  We have some in our front yard that are white and tipped in pink/red.  They are a favorite.  In the back are red, white, yellow/orange and fuchsia roses.  Favorites are in that order. :)  They are just completely gorgeous.  Yes, I even love the thorns.  I will pinch them off, but they're still part of the rose, and so I like them.

+And you know, suddenly I even enjoy weeding.  Weird, even for me.  Or maybe it's just a fascination/irritation that there's persistent Morning Glory climbing the bushes along our walkway.  But if I'm feeling frustrated, or just need a break from things, sometimes I'll just go out and pull the weeds from our flower garden.  It's productive, some, at least.  Hey, I even watched a slug scrinch around on my fingers because it was fascinating.  [I'm not sure how productive that was....but hey, it's still summer. ;-)]

+Sunshine.  :) I can't make a list of gratitude's without Sunshine.  Light (visual and physical), love, freedom, enjoyment, clarity, Christ, friendship, and more.  Even at three in the morning, I can find Sunshine. :)

+Josie was sharing a story with me and mentioned "Perfection in Nature".  Saying how, untouched or disturbed, nature is perfect, and can create beauty far greater than at the hands of man sometimes.  How life and the order of events is specifically and carefully determined.  Nothing, nothing, happens when it does, to whom it does, how it does without reason.  Think about how you met someone.  You can go back literally years and see how events played into the single moment of bumping into them at school, or walking down the street, or being introduced, and upon further examination, you can see even more how life is influenced by a Higher and Greater Being.  Even as I'm at the store, and wait and allow someone to pass by with their cart, and a smile is exchanged along with a kind word, I'm seeing the Perfection in Nature.  It's great. :)

There's more...billions more...but for now, this is some of what I've learned about life.  That, and the fact that it goes on, no matter what.  You can't stop it, you can't reverse it; the only way you can go is forward.  So...let's make it good, yeah?  You can either be pulled along by a foot, bouncing in the road and becoming more miserable by the minute, or you can be there in the front, laughing and bringing others along and making the whole trip easier.  Try to see the Perfection in nature around us, and the good in others rather than shaking your head that you just got cut off again on the road.  You never know who's life they may be racing off to save.  What if it were your own?

All in all, August End, though it is bringing an end to summer, and many other things, is really a portal or jump/spring or check point for another part of this amazing race called LIFE! [Living Is Fun/Free. Enjoy!]  And though, yes, I am intimidated by college and all the prospects of said endeavor...it'll be fun, I'll love it, and learn.  I sure better learn, anyhow... ;)  And, I suppose the fact that I don't want summer or a year to end says that it's been a good one, and that life, though sometimes hard, is good. 

August End, you're teaching me more than I ever before comprehended...thank you.

Life is good.  I promise.  Just look around you, you'll find something.  If you need help finding something, you know where I'm at. :D

Much love to all,

Love, Me.

Hahahahahahahahahaha....

I am related to awesomeness.
This is my little sister, Melissa. She's 7.

:-p

Yes, that is a real fly in her hands.  Yes, it is alive in this picture.  As a matter of fact, it is the second fly she caught with her bare hands, in less than two minutes.  She just walked up to it, cupped her hands, and caught them.  I just wanted to share a portion of this little girl's awesomeness with the world.  And guess what?? She's my sister. ;-)

I love you, Lissy, you're amazing.

Love, Me.

August End Weather

So, I don't know about you, but I think we've been having some amazing weather phenomenons happening in this wonderful month of August. ;)  This past Sunday being the First, I'm going to include photos from there as well.

So I'm sitting and writing in my journal Sunday afternoon, and look outside and it looks like everything is in sepiatone, or something, the color was AMAZING!!! I went outside and walked into this

and this

Everything had a yellowish tint to it, it was amazing!!  This is looking directly up into the sky:

Those are the real colors!!  And as you looked towards the west...

Same sky!! Towards the northeast...

(Above) The first one's right at first, the seconds a few minutes later.

Again, the northwest.  So, as I walked out of my North-facing home, look up, it's yellow.  Everything around me is in a yellow tone, like I said before.  Northwest is above, and to the northeast, it gets darker.  Completely east is a midnight blue, I can't find any pictures of that, but here's the farthest east I have.

And the Kings took a walk around the block. :)

 Sherbet, anyone? ;)

So that was that night. :D

Yesterday I was woken up at 5:26am by a bright flash of lightning followed by a crack of thunder being opened across the sky morning of the fourth, yesterday.  After several repetitions of that occurance, I decided that as long as I was awake, I'd just go upstairs and watch for a little while.  And I finally captured my first lightning. :D

I haven't cropped it yet, but there she is.

And...after the first bite, I went outside on my porch and took more. :D Hee. ;)

Yes, the houses are a little blurred, but I got it, nonetheless.  And some more... :)

I was basically in heaven. ;) Well, enjoying watching the sky converse, anyhow.  It was a great day...Rain for more than seven seconds, Lightning and Thunder, and as always, the Wind. I love the Wind. :)  But, as time goes on, I'm loving nature and seeing the Perfection in Nature more and more.  It helps. ;)

Anyhow, I mostly wanted to share the lightning, and if you didn't appreciate or see the Sunday night show in the sky.........

....boy, you missed out!! ;)

Much love to all,

Love, Me.

*Accidents Included*

Ever wondered why things happen the way they do?

I do.

Of course, later on I understand, but as for the moment when it's happening, I typically have a hard time seeing the outcome or the solution.  Occasionally I've been able to back away and observe the situation at a reasonable distance, and with a reasonably good hold on my head.  Doesn't necessarily make the situation easier to understand or undergo, but it helps.  Somehow.

I wondered why something happened like it did.  Then, not five (well, maybe it was five...) days after the fact, I understood completely. Rephrase: I better understood why it happened when it did.  And, like any bad cold, I'm still recovering from the effects these many weeks, and perhaps even months later.  No, I wasn't sick.  It was just an analogy.

Want a "For instance"?  Here's one.

Why, after 11+ years of playing extensive piano, recently classical/performance type, have I suddenly developed this sensitivity in my arms?  It's not like I've never had a short time period where they haven't hurt. I remember learning/memorizing two 10-page, "Musically Advanced II" piano solos for my Piano Festival that was in February, along with a 25-page Senior Concerto to be performed in March when after literally HOURS of practice (granted, I loved it!) that my arms would be extremely tired, and occasionally I couldn't move my hands in any short amount without incredible pain.  Hindsight...that...was...probably too much...  ...And...that was usually after a full day at school where I spent a good portion of time on the piano for choir.  "But classes were only, what, 87 minutes?? [~1.5 hours]" you hesitantly and questioningly say... ...Yeah, but I was in Chamber Singers, Concert Choir, Student Director/Pretty much teacher of Mixed Chorus, and had a free period after that where I would have time to (what else?) Practice.  That, plus 30 minutes of lunch could round up to from 2-5 hours with a piano at school a day.  (Wanna hear a joke? Okay, so someone says to me last year,
"Oh, so you're in choir?"
"Yep." :)
"What part do you sing?"
"Piano."
"...You sing softly?"
"Oh, no, I've actually had a time where someone thought I stuck out. AMAZING for me, I know.  But I spend most of my time on my baby, Victoria. ...That's...the name we've given the gorgeous Baby Grand Steinway......"
"...Oh...." And they walk off with this weird look. Perhaps confusion, and pity? Please don't pity.  You'd love it, too, if you got to play a piano like Victoria so much...) Okay, in truth, I don't actually recall that situation, it's just a possibility.

So, anywhere from 2-5 hours at school, then you come home and practice what you didn't there, and add in your own selection ranging anywhere from Brahms to Jon Schmidt...the latter more frequently as stress would come... ;)  I'd end up with literally several hours of piano a day.  Hmm....

But why in the month of June do I suddenly have a steady and rapid depletion of strength in my arms??  Sigh.  I really probably just spend too much time on the computer.  But other times when my arms have been perfectly fine, I've propped myself up on my bed with a book, or gripped something for a short amount of time and they've fired up like Ol' Bessie and the subject in matter is quickly dispersed, and ice and an ace bandage take its place.  Sadly, a lot of things turn into a rant on my arms.  I'm trying not to.  I just figure... ...Okay, I've got nothin'.  Just complaining.

Moving on.  Things happen in life, when they do, for a specific and legitimate reason.  We, (Thankfully) don't see exactly why all the time, but, if we remember to keep our cool and not lose our heads, which in turn allows others to keep theirs (and we're all very thankful for that, I'm sure) we'll be better off, and more likely than not be able to see how things worked out for our good.  The nice thing we can remember, is that even if things don't "go right"....
.....It'll all be Okay.  Things will work out for the better, and we'll be able to realize that even if it's not our desired best, it's probably for the best in someone else's life.  Accidents included.  Poor and yet mind-blowingly brilliant Thomas Edison had to realize that, somewhere in between time number one and time 9, 365 of trying for the right light bulb.  Okay, it may not have been that many tries, but hey.  We're going for effect, here.  And it's My blog, anyways...

So I read the third Harry Potter book a few weeks ago, simply because I saw it on the couch.  And I started on page 40ish.  Kaden hated it, cause every time he'd put it down and get up to do something, I'd start reading it.  Haha.  Sorry, bro. ;) :-p Then I promptly skipped books four, five and six and read the seventh one again.  In like, two, three days?  I think I like those two the best.  Maybe one is in third, but third is definitely first. ;) hahaha, I love mind twisters...especially when I'm in control of them.

Take this one.

When an individual of no said title departs the scene of which said entity has taken part, and upon turning their body so as to lay eye to the wreckage, at what point in the continuum of time and energy will the gravity of said departed situation be fully comprehended by the graduated person?

Who can comprehend this one? Second question: Who can understand it?  ....I do.... ;) :D

Yeah, so, basically I'm taking the assumption that when you take any amount of ADD and put it into a deep, questioning/contemplative mode, it becomes brilliant, eh?  Yep, sticking with that.  Anticipation.  Can always be expected, and yet, never fully or completely arrives...
Life works, Accidents included.

I'm off to figure out Piano....
Oh, and by the way...
...happy August End.
:) ;-) :-/
Love, Me.